Should I fake a suicide attempt in order to obtain help?

Discussion in 'The Uncertainty Principle' started by Catharsis, Aug 9, 2006.

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  1. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    I do not know what else to do. My relation still shelters and feeds me, but he is emotionally unsupportive, as is the rest of my family, and will not spare the expense. I long for autonomy, but I am terribly anxious, and altogether ineffective with people, so it is extremely difficult for me to find a job. Thus I have no money of my own, nor any insurance to pay for therapy.

    I have been seriously depressed and suicidal for many months. No one notices because my behaviour is not much different than it has always been, with minimal activity and near zero interaction with others. Recently, my depression seems to be lifted, but all these difficulties it caused still lie in the future. The one that bothers me the most is that, during the cloud of futility, I failed to take those actions that would enable me to return to school, although my relation believes that I had. The months ahead seem utterly unendurable, and this lift in mood is likely very transient.

    It is strange how much hope there appears to me now. But it also appears to be inaccessible and too late. That is why I consider doing this drastic thing. Yet I wonder if it will achieve what I am hoping for...
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I certainly wouldn't fake a suicide to obtain help, no. That would only cause you problems in the future, in my opinion!

    Attempt to grasp the hope with two hands, and hold on to it - there is hope, but it isn't too late! :hug:
     
  3. Shadowplay

    Shadowplay Staff Alumni

    :agreed:

    plus what if you mess up >.<
     
  4. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    No. Thats sick.
     
  5. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    Why is it sick? If it is because it seems manipulative, in that respect I should agree.

    However, I am in such great and dire need that I believe I would be justified in attempting to mobilize my environment to aid me in whatever fashion would work. A fake suicide attempt is what I am suggesting is that fashion, because any other form of communication will fail. Are not attempted suicides, no matter how incompetently done, regarded as cries for help?
     
  6. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    Please tell me what kind of problems it would cause, can you?
     
  7. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I think this would be called parasuicide. Parasuicide is when you attempt suicide but don't do it to actuallly kill yourself. At least, that's what I understand of it and ANY attempt to kill yourself, whether it would be a full-on attempt at ending your life or a "small" attempt to obtain attention for help carries risks. I'm sure there has been many, many people in the past who attempted suicide as a cry for help, not really intending to kill themselves but they did. I agree with Joe (Abacus), there is hope and it's not too late. I think the safest option would be to talk to someone. Do you have a close friend you could talk to? Maybe a family doctor or prehaps even call a helpline? Believe me, it helps a lot to talk and don't bottle up your feelings. Feel free to vent here as much as you like but please take care of yourself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2006
  8. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    Catharsis :hug:

    I have some very good news for you. You do not have to attempt suicide to get help. You don't even HAVE to be suicidal. If you have reached a point where you KNOW you need help and that you are a risk to yourself, ie.. thinking about an attempt or any kind of self injury, you can voluntarily go into a hospital. If you were to tell a doctor what you just told us, how you have been very depressed and thinking about suicide as a way to get help. THAT IS a cry for help. It is taken seriously and it will get all the wheels rolling in your favor.

    Ways it can hurt you: a partial attempt often involves self harm. You may think you do not fully wish to die but then as your in the partial attempt you may just decide, what the heck, go for it. It's very risky because emotions feed emotions. A self destructive emotion can become self destructive action.

    Also, honesty will get you the help and trust you need to get through this. A partial or fake suicide attempt, even if it's a manipulation to get help for the right reasons, can break trust. Also, it's completely unnecessary. You said" ...because any other form of communication will fail. Are not attempted suicides, no matter how incompetently done, regarded as cries for help?" You have made a false assupmtion that no other form of communication will work but this is not true. You can fully admit to a doctor that you are very depressed and NEED HELP. basically, ASKING for help is a cry for help and it is taken seriously.

    I recommend you get that help today, now. If you have a doctor call them, tell then you are very depressed and need to be in the hospital, you are a risk to your own safety. if you do not have a doctor go to the emergency room and when they ask you what you are beeing seen for say Suicidal Thoughts. And just be honest with the doctor and let them decide what help is best for you. Maybe a hospital stay is not necessary, maybe a partial progam or some other and medication, etc. You won't know till you ask and you won't get the best level of care for you if your not honest.

    You just need to ASK for help and assert the seriousness of your depression. They will come through, give it a try, k?
     
  9. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    Thank you for your concern and constructive advice, resistance and Luliby. I am rather unimpulsive, so if I were to attempt parasuicide it would be done with mind on the purpose of it, and carefully so as to minimize permanent damage. My worry is that a mere confession will not elicit the endurance of response that my situation requires. I did tell a doctor a few months ago, and all he did was have me sign a statement that I would not attempt suicide while I was taking the sample of ineffective anti-depressants he gave me. My birthday had not passed, so I did not have the means then, which I do now, and which a medical record did not prevent me from buying.

    I have one friend whose perpetual busyness limits our contacts to once every few months or less. It is futile to tell her anything for she cannot help. Can anyone really help? Everyone seems to have such a simplistic view of the kinds of possible problems that plague others. In my most cheerful moments, I dread the future as insufferable, and they will say it merely my depressive perception. With such quick answers, what purpose would it serve to tell them anything of the tangle that lies at the bottom of it all?

    It may do some good if I told a -competent- therapist, but my material situation makes that likely impossible. I might as well go the way of others who have been frustrated in life merely because they were born poor to ignorant relatives and schizophrenic mothers.
     
  10. samefate

    samefate New Member

    ok thats called in the most unsubtle and perverse indignation "I NEED ATTENTION!"
     
  11. a problem as serious as ours shouldnt be used as a tool of manipulation, so as to draw attention to yourself.
     
  12. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    Catharsis, :hug:

    When you say you need help what kind of help are you imagining?

    Scenario one, the suicide attempt: The ambulance screaming to your door, the neighbors all poking their heads out to get a good look, the doctors with their exasperated "what an idiot" looks, the 5 hour wait for a psych evaluation and eventually a couple of guards get you and take you up to the psych ward, through locked doors, assigned a room with two beds and roomate, your given pajama's to wear like a prisoner in jail, and a nurse sits with you and wants to know all about what happened. You find yourself repeating why you did what you did, for probably the 4th time, and even when you explain it again and again it still doesn't make a lot of sense and it still fixes nothing. Then family comes to visit, (if your lucky) and they don't know what to say and their scared and sometimes angry. Trust is broken. Eventually a Dr. comes to see you but they're not there for therapy, just to check on your meds, your bowel movements and your mood and perspective in general. Some hospitals offer classes and therapies during the day, recreational therapy, ocupational therapy, etc. All in all, it's about 2 to 3,000 a night and your there for an average of 3 to 5 days. But, you survive.

    Scenerio Two, acknowledgement that you are not safe and will take your own life if you do not seek medical help immediately: You pack a small suitcase, you call a family member or friend to take you to the ER, you tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and you are having a hard time resisting, you still see the exasperated Dr.'s "what an idiot" look, you still get the 5 hour wait for a psych evaluation and eventually a couple of guards get you and take you up to the psych ward, through locked doors, assigned a room with two beds and roomate, your given pajama's to wear like a prisoner in jail, and a nurse sits with you and wants to know all about what happened. You find yourself repeating why feel unsafe, for probably the 4th time, and even when you explain it again and again it still doesn't make a lot of sense and it still fixes nothing. Then family comes to visit, (if your lucky) and they don't know what to say and their scared and sometimes angry. Trust is broken. Eventually a Dr. comes to see you but they're not there for therapy, just to check on your meds, your bowel movements and your mood and perspective in general. Some hospitals offer classes and therapies during the day, recreational therapy, ocupational therapy, etc. All in all, it's about 2 to 3,000 a night and your there for an average of 3 to 5 days. But, you survive.

    Scenerio Three, acknowledgement that you are not suicidal but very depressed and can't go on like this anymore: You call and ask to talk to a psychiatrist at your local hospital. You ask to speak to "patient services" to find out how you can pay for it, either insurance, or state aid, or hospital funding, etc. If you need help they will often find a way. if you are in crisis, (which you are) then ask to see someone right away. They may put you on a call list or set you up with an appt. right away. You go in to see the psychiatrist, again, they are not therapists but they ask general questions to make a diagnosis and decide the best meds. They also recommend a therapist and your given another appt. In the meantiime you pay for your meds (ask for generic if money is an issue cause these meds generally cost a lot). Then, you go to see your therapist and explain whats bothering you, talk about your despair and who did what and basically, unload your emotional baggage in their office. Therapist will then try to help you see things from a more positive view point, instructions on what you can do to solve the current problem, and support you in your efforts. See a therapist weekly.

    Please note: Even if you choose scenario one or two you will end up at scenario three upon release from the hospital.

    There is nothing fun about being in the hospital. Also, nothing gets "fixed" when your in the hospital. And what you think may be a cry for help can quickly backfire and your family, rather than acting with concern, become angry, scared, and sometimes pull away. The only good thing I can say about the hospital is that WHEN YOU ARE AT RISK TO SUICIDE OR SELF HARM the hospital will keep you safe. At least, greatly reduce your ability to harm yourself until your mind can turn around again and you can see that suicide was not, is not the answer and you can then seek treatment.

    Real treatment and deliverance from depression comes from learning better ways to cope with the emotional turbulence in your life and ways to reduce that turbulence. That is usually done in therapy and cannot be bought in a pill. Change must take place and only you can do that.

    That being said, depression is a curable and treatable illness. However, It's not something you can put a cast on, or take 2 weeks of antibiotics, or go in monthly for dialysis. You need to be active in your self care. It's more like a new diet and exercise regime. It's sort of like diabetes. All the meds mean nothing if your not watching what you eat and following the Dr.'s advise. You have to learn new responses to very old habits. You can do this.

    So again I ask, what do you want to have happen? What help and support do you need? Just ask.
     
  13. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    Actually, I dislike it when attention is upon me unless it is of the kind that I need. That is why I was wondering if this manner of obtaining attention would result in it. Luliby has answered this question well.
     
  14. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    Thank you for taking the time to outline that. It was precisely the kind of answer I was looking for to my question.
     
  15. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    Nice to know your options. :)

    There is also Scenario Four, the general practitioner: You go to see your regular doctor who is not specialized in depression and they put you on a standard anti-depressant and dosage. (Say, Zoloft, 50 to 75mg. ) For some this is just what they needed and they get better, pull out of the depression. For others it's not. You can keep going back to the general Dr. and maybe increase the dosage or switch to another standard pill like Paxil. Maybe it works maybe it doesn't. Also in this scenario you can try to unload your emotional baggage on a husband, friend, or minister. Often churches offer free counceling, etc. For some a supportive mate or minister works. and other times it overwhelms them and they freak out.

    All in all, I like Scenario Three because you are getting the level of care you need. A mate or minister are not educated and experienced to necessarily handle the situation correctly and could make it worse. And a general doctor is not as experienced with antidepressants and diagnosis as a psychiatrist.

    Scenario Five, I can handle it on my own: It's my problem so I can handle it. Eventually this depression will lift. I just have to think more positively. Once I get through this crisis it will all be ok. Mind over matter. Pull myself up from my bootstraps. ... and on and on. Scenerio Five doesn't work and is a trap. Even people grieving who have pulled through the situation did so with the help of friends and loved ones. Isolation will make depression worse. The belief that you can make it on your own and try to keep others out, hide it, that is a symptom of depression, not a solution.
     
  16. look if you feel that bad then just try to talk to people at first it may seem akward but you will soon find your own rythem and meet new people u need to give yourself a reason to live suicide will never answer anything because once your dead thats it so u need to go out and live life
     
  17. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    You said that those around you dont know anything is wrong because you act like you're ok...why dont you try talking to them first before doing something as drastic as that. I dont want to sound rude but that is sick. You have no idea how much it hurts when the people you love attempt suicide, even if they dont die. Please try to get their attention, and help in another way.
     
  18. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    This member has not been on the forum since August 10, 2006.
     
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