Should I fire my psychiatrist and therapist? And quit meds?

[dandelion s]

I feel as if last night my psychiatrist brushed aside my concerns about a particularly hurtful diagnosis. He nearly laughed and said it's nothing to worry about yet it does go to the core of what has gone on in my treatment over the past nearly 5 years. And my therapist responded about the same thing in a way that made me feel she was not necessarily on my side about the same diagnosis. The diagnosis is wrong. And I am just about ready to give up because of this.

 

[Aurelia]

I feel as if last night my psychiatrist brushed aside my concerns about a particularly hurtful diagnosis. He nearly laughed and said it's nothing to worry about yet it does go to the core of what has gone on in my treatment over the past nearly 5 years. And my therapist responded about the same thing in a way that made me feel she was not necessarily on my side about the same diagnosis. The diagnosis is wrong. And I am just about ready to give up because of this.

What diagnosis?

 

[dandelion s]

Antisocial. I am totally not antisocial.

 

[Aurelia]

I agree with you, from what I've seen of your personality. You don't seem that way to me at all.

 

[Petal]

Would you consider getting a second opinion on your diagnosis? Is that an option?

 

[dandelion s]

Would you consider getting a second opinion on your diagnosis? Is that an option?

There are ironically many ways to look at this because I have something like 8 different diagnoses already. This particular one just haunts me and hurts me like none of the others. I originally got it almost 2 years ago when I was hospitalized for 11 days. and I hated the sound of it but didn't really understand what it meant. It's been wearing on me though and it ties in with the issues I have spoken a lot about months ago. Then this past December I was hospitalized again at the same hospital and the same doctor diagnosed me again with the same diagnosis. I'm a little reluctant to explain because lots of a possible explanation is full of speculation and even casts me in a bad light. I don't know how I can resolve it because trying may make things worse. And not trying has me feeling giving up is the best choice.

 

[sinking_ship]

Weird, yeah, it seems to me that you have empathy so I’m not sure where that comes from. I understand you’re particularly bothered by that diagnosis but I’m not sure how it affects your treatment. It is frustrating if your providers won’t listen to you though, that undermines the trust that’s supposed to be there. You’re on meds for depression right? So that seems like a separate thing. I wouldn’t discount everything they are doing bc of this thing. But I think definitely have a serious talk with your therapist to see if they agree with that diagnosis and/or are letting it inform your care.

 

[Foreignwoman]

What hurts you so much about this?

 

[dandelion s]

I'm experiencing a lot of bad feelings like I don't want to live anymore but at the same time I feel nervous am having palpitations and and fear this medication I'm on and am afraid of dying. I'm bitter because I spent my life either being dissociated or being not me but at the same time not knowing who I've been. I was cheated out of most of my life having always feared pursuing my desires and dreams of people and things, believing I was not permitted. Now there is so much to do and I am weaker than ever with a thing living inside dedicated to my destruction. Even now, I can not make friends with people in face to face situations. I do try.

 

[dandelion s]

What hurts you so much about this?

It's based on a mistake, or misinformation, or non truth, or speculation and it is so far from being me. Fact is in my life people say things about me like "most likely to go postal". That was at work. Yeah, they made it into a joke, but where did it come from? It's because I can't talk to people in most friend making situations. And I have a naturally grouchy expression that my parents always criticized me for and set standards so high, nothing was attainable. Of course, I never had anything to smile about.

 

[Sunspots]

I agree with @sinking_ship
I wouldn't throw away your meds, therapist or psychiatrist just yet.

I can understand why you would see it as hurtful. But a label is just a label. It's meaningless. You're still you, irrespective of what label anyone has tried to pin on you. Different people see different things on different days. My bet is that most people could be diagnosed antisocial on the right day..

 

[Foreignwoman]

Maybe it helps reading into this or let your psychiatrist explain to you what he meant by this diagnosis and why he thinks this. Maybe what you understand from this diagnosis is different than what he means. I hope you can calm yourself down a little.

 

[Foreignwoman]

Antisocial is a whole new, other level, I can imagine that it scares you.

 

[Harrow]

I am always for someone not doing the job you hired them to do, get rid of them. But after reading the other comments I think they are more right, it is a label that means nothing, at worst you are free to get a second or third or even a fourth opinion. But the most important thing is not to let it define you. You are you not a label you know who you are and that is the most important thing. Get the help you want not the help they force you to get

 

[dandelion s]

I am always for someone not doing the job you hired them to do, get rid of them. But after reading the other comments I think they are more right, it is a label that means nothing, at worst you are free to get a second or third or even a fourth opinion. But the most important thing is not to let it define you. You are you not a label you know who you are and that is the most important thing. Get the help you want not the help they force you to get

i have a reason for feeling so horrible about this. it is not about a label. it is about being hurt by someone who i care about. or maybe being hurt or i just don’t know and as far as i can tell it can never be resolved. it is like a painful conclusion to a life of painful disappointments. it is so much more painful than being called something.

 

[sinking_ship]

i have a reason for feeling so horrible about this. it is not about a label. it is about being hurt by someone who i care about. or maybe being hurt or i just don’t know and as far as i can tell it can never be resolved. it is like a painful conclusion to a life of painful disappointments. it is so much more painful than being called something.

I’m not really sure I follow the link here. But I still think you should try to explain this to your therapist at the very least, rather than just say fuck it all.

 

[Aurelia]

It doesn't make any sense to me. Antisocial Personality Disorder is characterized by lack of empathy, aggressiveness, violent behavior, etc. You're none of those things as far as I can tell. On what grounds did they diagnose you with that? I would demand to know if I were you.

Regardless, if you know who you are, that's all that matters. Not some label.

 

[dandelion s]

I’m not really sure I follow the link here. But I still think you should try to explain this to your therapist at the very least, rather than just say fuck it all.

it was easy to talk about months ago. i’m all burned out now. my body hurts. and i feel drugged. i’m taking so many meds for all sorts fo things and i just hate it. i just feel ruined. i’m so tired and i can’t sleep at night to get rest so i sleep at work instead.

 

[dandelion s]

It doesn't make any sense to me. Antisocial Personality Disorder is characterized by lack of empathy, aggressiveness, violent behavior, etc. You're none of those things as far as I can tell. On what grounds did they diagnose you with that? I would demand to know if I were you.

Regardless, if you know who you are, that's all that matters. Not some label.

i want to talk about this and i don’t knwo how. its complex and it hurts and i’m just so tired now. i am fucking tired. i don’t know how to do it anymore

 

[Aurelia]

Do you feel like they think you're a bad person because they gave you that diagnosis?

If so, then I wholeheartedly disagree with that. Having some of those qualities doesn't necessarily make one a bad person. It just means they've been through a hell of a lot and they don't know how to cope in a healthy way sometimes.