Half of my family has died the past 1o years, most of cancer, and hereof some of bowel cancer. The bowel cancer gene that is running in my family is one that can be maintained, mind. My mother has the faulty gene and every year (though she often postpones it) she gets a colonoscopy where they remove any polyps they find so she should technically never develop cancerous tumors. My aunt doesn't have the gene but she also gets checked, though less frequently. After turning 25 I was supposed to have my blood tested for the gene fault. I have been 25 since February. My mother was supposed to give me a letter to take to my GP so it can get done, but she keeps forgetting and because of our strained relation I don't feel like I can put pressure on her. I am losing my courage though. The longer I wait the worse it is getting. I know that if I do have the gene I will get checked like my mother does, and of all the cancer types that I could have this is at least preventable this way. But I'm so scared how I will react if I do have the gene. And I worry that I might already have polyps... They normally don't develop before later in life, but my body has been through so much I fear it doesn't follow the norm. The people in my family that died of it were caught too late. And seeing how bad my aunt reacts after her colonoscopies I'm scared of that too. (my aunt does have a very low tolerance for pain while mine is abnormally high). Some years ago I had to go through a gastroscopy (tube through the mouth into my stomach) to check for ulcers, and the doctors hadn't used the stuff to numb my gag reflex right so I was chocking on it. I couldn't speak and when I tried to wave my hands to signal something was wrong they held them down. I know a colonoscopy is the other way and I can still speak up for myself. (though some might disagree I don't talk through my behind). I thought I'd wait until I got into therapy, but I've spent so long to get referred and waiting, just to be put on the bottom a final waiting list, meaning I don't get any help before next year. I don't want to wait too long... but I also don't know if I can deal with the results... UGH!