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Should i help some one who is depressed??

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mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#1
#1
right so there is this guy in college who makes my life total hell. he just makes me feel so depressed. and i have enough problems without him adding to it. but today i found out (well i think) that he himself is a little depressed at the moment... so what do i do? maybe he makes my life hell to try improve his own...

a bit like a bully, like he likes to see me suffer to make him fee better about him self.
i dont know any more...

part of my brain is telling me i should help, but the other half is telling me to just just leave it. he makes my life total hell at college. i fuckin hate him. some times it is so bad that he makes me wanna cry and just not go to college at all.

but if he is feeling depressed maybe i should help, i feel that i might be able to (due to my own persoanl experiences)... i wouldnt wish depression on any one

any one.. but him

i just wish he wasnt here

that might sound mean, but he makes me feel like shit... he makes me like this. he is one of the reason i stay up late every night, worrying so much i feel sick. worrying that i might fail ANOTHER course at college. wanting to cut bcoz i feel so bad.

why should i help some1 who is doin this to me...

does that make sense? should i help him?

I just dont know!

meh. i feel propa strange, i feel like such a bitch. but i need to get this off my chest.

dont judge me.
 
R

resistance

Staff Alumni
#2
#2
Do you talk to this guy at all or does he only throw shit at you? It's an awkward situation, especially as he hurts you this much. Does he know about your depression? If you feel you may be able to talk to this guy and a bit of you thinks you may be able to help then perhaps you could go for it. Or if you think he'll throw it back in your face and make you feel even more crap about it then perhaps it's best not to... could you tell another friend who gets on with him? Maybe they can talk to him, or a teacher or something?
 
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mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#3
#3
resistance said:
Do you talk to this guy at all or does he only throw shit at you? It's an awkward situation, especially as he hurts you this much. Does he know about your depression? If you feel you may be able to talk to this guy and a bit of you thinks you may be able to help then perhaps you could go for it. Or if you think he'll throw it back in your face and make you feel even more crap about it then perhaps it's best not to... could you tell another friend who gets on with him? Maybe they can talk to him, or a teacher or something?
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well when he first started making horrible comments and remarks he did not know about my depression, but after it all got to much, i had to tell him. i told the whole my class. just so they knew why some times, i had marks on my arms, or was upset,crying or didnt wanna talk. why i wanted to be alone. or why i wasnt in college for days at a time...

but things seem to get worse once he knew. as though he had some thing to get at me about. i finally put a complaint in with a teacher and it settled down a bit. but it has started again.... the hurtful comments and the eyes of death. he just sits and stars.

I feel as though i want to help, and i so want to tell him about the site. but im scared me will through it back in my face and make every thing worse for me.. i just dont know any more.

god im so messed up
 
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my thought space
#4
#4
Do you think by helping him, he won't make your life hell? That's something I've gone through. It's understandable if you've been in an abusive relationship in the past, out of fear- to care for someone who is hurting you, to stop them hurting you.

You're under NO obligation to help someone who is hurting you. He's doing this out of his own personal reasons, maybe you're a symbol of something. He sounds fucked up to be honest, and I'd stay well well away from him.

I'm glad you made a complaint. :hug: Get as many people around you to be aware of him. You can't help him.

a bit like a bully, like he likes to see me suffer to make him fee better about him self
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Stay away from him is all I can say...
 
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my thought space
#5
#5
Being depressed doesn't give anyone the right to abuse/use/objectify another person and invade their personal boundaries.

I'd understand if it was lets say you, if you've been hurt/abused getting out rage, writing, screaming, expressing yourself to someone who has hurt you, but in this case, this boy seems to be stalking you/invading your personal boundaries, this is unwanted, and you sound scared.

:hug: Look after yourself not him.
 
J

jameslyons

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
If he makes you feel like shit, drop him.

Otherwise try to cheer him up.
That's my motto.

but i'm lonely and miserable. :tongue:

seriously, your health matters more than his.
 
M

mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#7
#7
i feel like i should help him, and after thinking about it.. and stayin awake at night bcoz of it. i have decided that NO im not going to help him.

i have enough of my own problems i dont need to worry about this aswel. and one of my problems is him any way. why the hell should i help him! he deserves to depressed if he is making me feel this way!

Fuck him, he isnt worth my tears..
 
M

mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#8
#8
ggg4567 said:
Do you think by helping him, he won't make your life hell? That's something I've gone through. It's understandable if you've been in an abusive relationship in the past, out of fear- to care for someone who is hurting you, to stop them hurting you.

You're under NO obligation to help someone who is hurting you. He's doing this out of his own personal reasons, maybe you're a symbol of something. He sounds fucked up to be honest, and I'd stay well well away from him.

I'm glad you made a complaint. :hug: Get as many people around you to be aware of him. You can't help him.



Stay away from him is all I can say...
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When i first read this i thought you were saying i was in a relatioship with and i was a bit shocked, it made my skin crawl. but then i read it again and saw what you meant.

I am not in a relationship with him and never would be... just to make that clear lol :mellow:

A while ago i was with some guy... i was with him for almost 10 months and in the end things got so tough between us he made me feel like shit. he made me think it was all my fault. but really it wasnt and i know that now. when this guy upsets me, i get the same kinda feelings and thoughts in my head. as though i should be guilty.. i just dont understand him!
 
snowraven

snowraven

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
The fact that you are even considering helping this guy shows real compassion on your part but if he is giving you such a bad time I'd suggest you steer well clear. When we suffer from depression ourselves it somehow seems to create a bond with others who are depressed because we can understand some of their pain. We can't help everyone though and if there is a chance of this guy using your compassion against you then forget him. Your own health is what matters. Best wishes, S.
 
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Mightbehere

Well-Known Member
#10
#10
Put a proper complaint in with the school, don't just worry about mentioning it to one teacher my experience is they usually don't do shit unless told to form someone above also a proper formal complaint is handled properly and theirs a record of it. Your probably not the only one he does this to and you have given him more then ample consideration already. You go to Collage to learn not be abused.
 
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mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#11
#11
aint seen the guy for 2 days now, made college a bit easier. so glad he didnt see me cry today, i couldnt of coped.

im not going to help him, i tried (kinda) he made to effect to take up my offer.

he can suffer alone for all i care
 
S

Stranger1

Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
#13
#13
I wouldn't give him anymore ammo to use against you. I agree you need to take this matter up with the office and file a formal report...Maybe ask to be moved to a different chair in the class where you don't have to make eye contact with him..You have every right to be there and you don't need this asshole making your life miserable. When you are out of class maybe have a friend with you so he won't approach you alone...Take care!!!
 
C

cinZamurai

Well-Known Member
#14
#14
mixedemotions said:
aint seen the guy for 2 days now, made college a bit easier. so glad he didnt see me cry today, i couldnt of coped.

im not going to help him, i tried (kinda) he made to effect to take up my offer.

he can suffer alone for all i care
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Good, focus on yourself. If he was the kind of guy that could give something back then it would have been mutually benefactory to help him but now that is not the case. Its best to avoid and ignore him. Some people work with different play rules more sinister and its best not to mix to much with the "dark side" so to speech.
 
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mixedemotions

Forum Buddy
#15
#15
LastCrusade said:
i think you like him :)
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I think you have got the total wrong end of the stink lol
the thing is. i hate this guy. he makes me want to cut... how is that liking some one?

I'm in the best relationship a girl could as for. I'm happily engaged (to a another member on this site lol)
We have been together 10months and he makes all my problems worth while. if it wasnt for him id be dead and burried by now.
 
L

LastCrusade

Well-Known Member
#16
#16
mixedemotions said:
I think you have got the total wrong end of the stink lol
the thing is. i hate this guy. he makes me want to cut... how is that liking some one?

I'm in the best relationship a girl could as for. I'm happily engaged (to a another member on this site lol)
We have been together 10months and he makes all my problems worth while. if it wasnt for him id be dead and burried by now.
Click to expand...
In view of the above, this should not have been an issue to you at all :)
 
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