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Should I just die?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wastedmylife, Jul 28, 2008.


Should I kill myself?

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
  2. No

    4 vote(s)
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  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    My problems

    $7,000 in debt(medical bills, sure to go up)

    Physical problems, head constant out of it feeling, dizzy light headed,

    I have developed this thing in the last 24 hours where I need to pee constantly, or I have the urge to constantly pee, dont know what it is but I am sure it is something that is chronic

    Extreme Guilt over my dogs leg getting amputated, it happened 16 months ago and it is getting worse, I have woken up twice in the last week with this overwhelming feeling that I will never get over it, I dont think I will ever come to terms with it nor do I deserve to because if I was a better owner his leg wouldnt have got amputated, he also has other health problems that are a result of me being a shitty owner

    Yes I know I am a lost cause, I know the overwhelming majority will say yes or want to say yes but whatever

    Whatever I just want to find a way to fucking die, I am such a fucking waste of life, I Wasted my fucking life just like my fucking name says

    I am so fucking lost, there really is no way out for me, I dont know what to do
  2. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I voted yes but I really dont want to die, I am going to look at this poll next week and wish I could go back a week because next week I am going to feel less healthy and more fucked up then this week

    I feel bad for the people who read this who have worse more chronic problems then me, just as I read some of the posts on the suicide board I know there are people who probably have real debilitating health problems who laugh at my problems, to those I apologize and wish I could get it through my head to appreciate what life I have left now, maybe I am just addicted to self pity and like I laugh at the people who want to kill themselves because their boyfriends broke up with them, the people with real serious health problems laugh at me for wanting to kill myself over my problems

    blaa blaa
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2008
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    $7000 is nothing really. I owe a shitload more than that, its just I dont have to pay it off till my income reaches a certain level. My uni debts are at least triple what you owe and I never even got the degree! LOL. ya nah its not really funny.

    Dizziness and light headedness can simple come from not eating enough, blood sugar issues, blood pressure. So many simple causes, and most of them arent life threatening.

    The pee thing, could be an infection. I would see a GP.

    Im not sure about the situation with your pets, but if the dog needed to have his leg amputed to save his life...you did the right thing.
  4. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    well the debt really is the least of it

    But the other problems are the worst, this feeling in my head has been constant for the last 3 months and it is getting worse

    And this pee thing is this new thing that I have a feeling is going to continue , I have a feeling it could be tied to a problem I have with a testicle that who knows I might need a removal or some type of surgery, something tells me this thing is going to effect me for a long time

    and the pet amputation is a long story, basically he had a problem that I ignored because I was a FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it turned out he developed a leg problem as a result, then it turned out he needed to have his leg amputated(or so I was told by a doctor and it turned out to be a misdiagnosis) I cant get over not getting a 2nd opinion when everything in me told me to get a 2nd opinion and I cant get over neglecting his initial problem to what led to his leg getting messed up

    I dont deserve to get over it and that is the bottom line
  5. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Hey dont be so hard on yourself. If the doctor misdiagnosed it, it is on him. Don't they swear an oath to heal and protect pets or something? It is his area of expertise he should have known better. And just because other people have 'worse' problems than you doesnt make your problems not significant. If it is making you so depressed it is as serious as anything. Everybody is different physically and mentally, and there is a limit to what we can take.

    If I told you my problems might seem pathetic compared to what you go through, but I am tortured inside my mind just cant take being a loser and peonage. I get overcome with emotion often i get so pumped i feel so close to acting and i harm myself.
  6. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    well like I said, I was absolutley CONVINCED the problem wasnt what the doctor said it was, he said it was a Nerve Sheath Tumor and his leg needed to get amputated right away or he would die, everything in me told me to get a 2nd opinion but I didnt

    Whatever this is something I just have to find a way to live with
  7. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I voted no dont die. I think you might be suffering from some kind of guilt complex or something, the fact is u took ur pet to the vet which can be expensive especially when u are already mired in medical bills of your own, and many pets never get a vet visit at all. If this pee thing has only been going on for 24 hours i dont see why you would assume it will continue without waiting it out and seeing if it keeps happening. I dont know what to do about the debt, i guess check what laws and rights you have, as MJ apparently has debt and doesnt have to pay it.
  8. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Sounds like the doc put allot of pressure on you to do the surgery right away getting u to think he would die any minute. Perhaps the doc was crooked and wanted some extra cash and didnt care if he maimed ur dog to get it. So then he would say you have to do it right now or dog dies that way u dont have time to think. I dont know all the details but it sounds like ur dog and u may have been a victim of very sick twisted manipulation.
  9. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    believe me I think about this to, my other problem is I internalize all my anger, a normal person would probably lash out at the doctor or take him to court, me I just suck it in and let it eat away at me

    god just thinking about it if I was manipulated, between all the damage I have done to myself the last year, to the fact I have to see my dog with his missing leg that eats away at me, the whole thing seemed crooked from this 1 vet who recommended me go to a specialist, and to the specialist who was a fucking resident, he wasnt even a Full Time Board Certified Neurosurgeon

    I sometimes ask myself if this resident just wanted to amputate a leg before he got his Neurology license or whatever

    I get crazy thinking about this crap, I swear to god if I find out I was scammed or something I am libel to kill someone, this whole thing seemed so shady to, it happened in Las Vegas which is the #1 place on earth a scam is going to run if there is a fucking scam
  10. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    and I didnt have any medical bills at the time, I was pretty much on top of my life, this thing really has turned my life to the shitter over the last 16 months
  11. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I look at the photo of this doctors face on the internet and it makes me sick, this guy is such a shady fuck

    I cant believe this if I was scammed, I just cant believe it, all the pain I have done to myself

    I swear to god if I find out I was scammed I am libel to do something that I wont regret

    Fucking manipulative cock sucker, he kept egging me on and guilted me when I hesitated getting the diagnostic and the surgery
  12. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    i dont kno wat advice to offer. i guess just try not to blame yourself it sounds as if your dog and u were victims and it will hurt. Try to press forward i guess and give ur dog the best u can?
  13. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    that sounds lacking of class and very shady. if you must take out ur rage plz try to go the legal route.
  14. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    the thing is I live about 1500 miles from Vegas now and the doctor who did this works up in Canada now, I thought about suing for the 10 months left that I was in Vegas, but since I am a coward I didnt go through with it, I knew it would rot away at me and sure enough it did

    I called the owner of the place a few days before I was ready to leave but of course he never called me back
  15. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    i dont know may want to inquire some lawyers and see what opinions they have of what chance u would have at a case. if persuing a case would help your condition that is.
  16. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I closed the poll because votes of yes would be encouraging you to suicide.
  17. Falcon0006

    Falcon0006 Well-Known Member

    tiredness dizziness, and peeing constantley. I am 80% sure u have diabetes check it out, its easy to manage if not that it could be something else serious. I'd certainley keep tabs on it though.
  18. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    You can at least go out in decency as in keep in mind that even that amount of money is deemed to pay someone's rent daily food and such.If you really don't care about yourself at least care about the good you can do before you try to do it, or better said think bout how much of a ass you can be by leaving it all. It may seem like a small amount of money for some but for others it's the difference between today and tomorrow.
  19. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    that money is only gonna go to rich people, rich people who helped me get to the state I am in, there is no way I am gonna pay some ridiculous charges because I was unforunate to not have health insurance and the hospitals and doctors get to charge whatever they want

    I called them all and asked to negotiate a fee but they said no, Fuck them

    even now I probably should go to the hospital because of problems but I dont want to get stuck with another few thousand in debt

    and I just read your other post where you said torturing animals is justified or natural(only to a psychopath), you sound like a real prick, Id rather you not respond to me
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2008
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