• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Should I just start cutting people out of my life?

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

Renegade banshee
SF Supporter
#1
A friend of mine posted a really ignorant poem of sorts on Facebook to do with transgender people. I'm not transgender myself, but as a pansexual, I am attracted to people of all genders, and I also support the transgender community. He has posted something in the past that was him posting a picture of himself with a fake (method redacted) as a joke, and that's obviously triggering to me for lots of reasons. A family friend told my mom that God is mad and punishing everyone because there are gay people in the world. But I have to deal with her because she raises my nephew and that's the only way I can see him. Other people have posted homophobic and hateful things and talked about them. They're not always bad though, in fact they can be quite kind at times. I find it hard to reconcile that with the fact that they still hold some very harmful viewpoints. I don't know how to deal with people in my life who accept me for how I am, but also don't. Does anyone else have to put up with this stuff, and how do you deal with it?
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

Renegade banshee
SF Supporter
#2
I should add that I'm also worried about my nephew growing up and internalizing this hatred. But it's an unhealthy environment for many more reasons than that. There's rotting stuff all over and the place is never cleaned. He's gotten lice multiple times and there's mice always coming out. The shower is black, oh and she's had a dead cat in the freezer for 10 months because she didn't want to bury it. Not to mention that he's been slapped around and screamed at since he was practically an infant. Told CPS, my sister and others, but no one seemed to care. So yeah, I'm basically disappointed in lots of people at this point.
 

case.no.87

💟🌌☮️🌫🌌
SF Supporter
#3
People can really test our patience as in the cases of these two who you describe. Your one friend seems to be afraid and in some kind of denial- will he ever connect? You don’t have to find out and it isn’t against the law to grow apart from a friend.

The female you described is a guardian but she seems unfit for the role? It sounds like she needs assistance and also like the child deserves better, for one thing a safe environment. I think the process for social services is to follow each report.

Remember being a child learning about the world? We constantly hear people are not good role models for one reason or another, even though no one is perfect. You can be a positive presence.
 
Last edited:
#8
I feel you. I wouldn't make any big decisions when you're feel agitated though, take some time to calm down and gather your thoughts first. You don't want to regret anything, once someone's gone, they're gone. You can't take it back. But I guess it depends on how much you can put up with and how much you value the people. If the people aren't important to you anyway then I don't see it as much of a loss if you cut them off. If they're generally nice but have these few things they're shit about, that's very tricky. I know someone like that, although not to the same extreme as that, and I just muted them in some places and just focus on the majority good about them. I don't want to cut people off, so I compromise by shutting out certain parts. However there have been some people who are just too much, way too extreme and barely have any redeeming qualities so I did get rid of them eventually. It is so hard though when it effects you too. My dad's partner is horrible, she makes fun of sexualities and all sorts of sensitive topics and things and it drove me mad but I kept her around and kept being nice because if I didn't I'd risk not being able to see my dad or my little siblings (her kids). Years went on, and I snapped one day and that was that. Now I've shot myself in the foot because she wont let me see my dad or siblings as my punishment (fucking ridiculous narc she is) but I just couldnt take it anymore, especially when she directed shit at me too. It was giving me anxiety too much and I found myself more annoyed with her than happy. If you're more annoyed or upset with someone than happy, thats when its time to say goodbye. Unless they're really important and maybe you could mention it to them and see if they'll improve. I knew with her there was no chance of that though.

 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

Renegade banshee
SF Supporter
#9
I feel like there's a lot to think about, but then sometimes I feel like I'm the toxic one because I'm mentally ill and take things to heart too much. So at times I feel it's best to take myself out of the equation.
 
#10
I feel like there's a lot to think about, but then sometimes I feel like I'm the toxic one because I'm mentally ill and take things to heart too much. So at times I feel it's best to take myself out of the equation.
I don't think you're toxic, but I do understand the pain and confusion of questioning yourself. I know I can be too sensitive at times and I am prone to anxiety and being insecure, so I know sometimes I can overreact and maybe things arent actually that offensive, its just me being silly. Sometimes I've mentioned things to people and they shrug it off as just me being sensitive or me having anxiety, so I'm not always sure either. Sometimes later on I see other people feel the same about the person so I don't feel so silly.

The things you mentioned, mocking suicide, especially to you, and being ignorant to transgender people, isn't right. That's not being too sensitive, that is plain wrong and inappropriate. Mocking pain isn't funny, and discriminating against others is horrible. I'm sure everyone can agree on that. Those aren't trivial things that can be minimized to just being too sensitive.

You dont need to take yourself out of the equation, you're good, you havent done anything wrong unlike others ♥
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#17
🙄 @ some of our fellow people for being so against others being themselves. Theyre not minding their own beeswax. Sorry your nephew has to grow up or be raised in this type of environment. If that makes you feel better you know people still can be bigoted even if they are raised in the best conditions one can provide and be a super extraordinary human being from the worst background that no child should ever be in. Ive seen products from both worlds, their outcomes different. Just do your best to continue to teach your nephew about being a good human being on the inside when you are with him. Teach him difference between right and wrong. They remember kind and caring people in their lives for a lifetime. Kids are sponges. ❤
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#19
Sorry to hear how you are feeling @Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️ . Sounds like you have some really toxic people in your life. I guess the times they are nice makes it quite confusing, making you feel conflicted. I can't imagine you rubbing anyone up the wrong way at all. *hug I agree, just try to keep talking to your nephew. If he hears other points of view it will give him a questioning mind and that's probably the best you can do.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$305.00
Goal
$255.00
Top