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Should I kill myself?

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I'm having some really sick thoughts and I just can't take them out of my head. Should I kill myself? I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like ending this. I quess this is coming to an end. I just can't live anymore because of what is going through my mind. I feel like I should be locked up for life or killed. I'm a joke as a human, I'm not human, I'm a dog! Oh god, why did it have to come to this point. I feel like it just has to be done. It's better that way.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
NO you should NOT kill yourself hun YOu should go to hospital call crisis line you should reach out and get help you need hun Keep reaching out here okay we hear you we care hugs


Well-Known Member

Killing yourself is a drastic solution to problems that you have piled together.

Each individual problem has its process - we share common problems here - get depression and all the 'normal' problems become like Mount Everest. And we clamber up the icy sides - without a rope, ice pick or one of those fancy suits that have a heating system.

I'm 46 and could have killed myself 1000 times or more by now.

It would have been 1000 mistakes - but granted - the way you feel right now - you struggle to see yourself EVER happy. Even so - I'm telling you mate - kill yourself now and you will miss something we will never get the chance to ever do again. This world is a one off - its bright, loud, fast and sometimes frightening. Fear can rule us - stop us from realising our dreams! So fu** fear - that imposter! The sorry bastard it is!

Fear mate - that's the one to let go.

Suicide is when fear gangs up on you - angst and enemies - issues and problems. We let them accumulate - encourage it - allow it - and we have to create our own narrative!

Your choice right now is simple. Even if you do not want to live now - your heart knows that something, someone will turn up.

Remember when you were a kid? A child? Trying to ride the bike! Man - we fell off so many times - and it was scary! I mean - going down a hill! Crashing!

Kids keep trying because most - I do hope! - have parents and loved ones who encourage them.

We grow up and we still need that encouragement to grow and prosper as human beings.

Even if one person has faith in you - it matters. Its just a matter of having friends who care - but do not be despondent! Friends we make all our lives - we meet new ones - I collect them - once made they are always there. These days - wow - its so easy to keep in touch and its nice to be nice to people. It makes them be nice to you! My cunning plan exposed! But seriously - it costs nothing to be nice - and is priceless. A kind word is worth a LOT.

So - I hope you take faith and see that you are depressed but so am I and I'm not going to let this wreck my life - or anyone else's!

We got options - ways to fight it - techniques, strategies and battle plans. It is a war - and I'm dug in the trenches - sometimes taking incoming - but I'm hunting down my own issues - I ambush them - and share them with others so the issue is exposed.

Some areas of your own mind are bad places. Suicide comes when we spend too much time there on our own. That's when you need to speak out.


Do seek help!

Thanks for being brave enough to admit something that took me decades dodging and avoiding.


Staff Alumni

I'm really sorry you're struggling so much with your thoughts.. you say they are really sick and that people wouldn't want to know etc. Are you scared people would judge you? I think to an extent it's normal to have bad/sick thoughts.. I have had sick thoughts in the past too.. although of course I don't know if we're talking about similar things. But either way, I wonder if you'd feel able to call a helpline.. one such as the samaritans who keep everything confidential (unless you tell them you're plotting a terrorist act or something).. maybe you could start with them, tell them your thoughts.. phone them as much as you need, tell them as many times as you need and see if expressing them helps at all?

As I don't know what the thoughts are I don't know if you'd be able to tell them to a counsellor or someone? Im just thinking that maybe it would help to get the thoughts out of you, express them.. sometimes expressing things can help reduce their importance in our minds. Or if you can't tell them to anyone maybe you could write about the thoughts?

I do hope you stay safe and get some help with this
a lot of people have these bad thoughts. just remember, you can overcome them, no matter how much it seems they are controlling your life, you can get over them. you may need to see a professional.... its only the best

please stay strong and do not kill yourself. i have been through what you're going through and i know exactly how difficult it is.

keep your head up, tomorrow is another day, i promise you will pull through.
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