if I should, then...can I get some help with this? This may very well be the most important letter I have ever had to write anyone. As some of you know, my parents have become a trigger for me. To bring the rest of you good people up to speed, my Mom is having a surgery on her knee done at the end of October. She wants me to come to the house to spend the night to dog sit and watch over my dad, who is incapable of taking care of himself. I can't take the time off of work. I called her 2 weeks ago to tell her this and she got pissed at me, saying there was no one else etc. I can't call her and so I thought to write a letter, This is the first draft; Tell me what you think? Mom, I am sorry, but I can not call you anymore. Every time I talk on the phone with you, you trigger my depression, as you discuss Your various issues. It’s like you project your own depression onto me. You cursed Grandma for how she dragged dad thru the mud, but I can’t help but Feel like you are doing the same things to me now. And lately, you and dad, even became triggers for my suicidal ideations. I can’t talk to you on the phone anymore. I am liable to drink, I am liable to smoke, and I am liable to do worse, if I do. I just can’t. And it’s not my fault. Why did you move so far away? Don’t you realize that had you still lived in [edit name] I would have probably been able to take care of Dad AND go to work while you were in the hospital? Why didn’t you get Dad help with his depression before he molested [edit name]? He would be able at least to take care of himself now while you are in the hospital. Maybe you did, I don’t know. Maybe you told me, and I don’t remember. I love you and dad, dearly. I wish I could help you with the surgery thing, but I can’t get the time off of work to do so. I just can’t. This is not a selfish act. I have to work. I have to support myself and my family. I don’t have any answers for you to your issue. All I know, is that I can’t help you. I can’t miss work. I am sorry. But my depression is worse than you might care to admit or understand. I have to stay safe. I have to.