Should I start saying how I really feel?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by SAVE_ME, May 10, 2011.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I think part of my problem is that I'm never open enough with anyone and I never truly say how I feel when I feel it. I always put up a bit of a front with people because I think that if they got to know the real me, they wouldn't like the real me.

    I have opinions on things that aren't exactly popular with everyone and I think I experience the world just a little bit differently to everyone else. But should I start just respecting myself enough to say how I feel for once instead of what I think people want to hear? Because I feel miserable always pretending for the sake of fitting in. Feels like I'm living a lie.

    But how do you not let people get to you if they dislike you for who you are? I always take things like that too personally.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i think you should always be YOU okay if your friends don't like the real you then they are not true friends right. I think being open and honest to a point one needs to be Start with a therapist even try being open there and see what happens hugs
     
  3. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    Theres no real reason to not be yourself. If people dont like you when you are you, they werent real friends in the first place. So I would say just be yourself and express your opinions. Granted, I wouldnt go around trying to piss people off with your views and opinions, but voicing them is something you have the right to do.
     
  4. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    you are always going to meet people who do not share the same opinion as you, and maybe you can initiate a discussion first and see how your friends react...is there a partic thing that you agree with when you rather wouldnt?

    when i was eating normally, i would enjoy pasta, a friend didnt like pasta, who is to say who is right and who is wrong, my point is we are all different in many areas of our lives its how we deal with those differences that can affect us.

    being yourself is always the thing to be...and maybe the friends you say would not accept you, are not real friends as you became who you thought they wanted you to be.

    make new friends who have similar opinions to yours, although its good to have friends who dont agree with everything you say and do...its a measure of a true friend to really know you and still be your friend.

    rambling..but cant always make myself clear. :hug:
     
  5. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Umm...it's difficult. As an example, I go to this creative writing group a couple of times a month and we always start off with a free-writing exercise where we jot down whatever comes into our heads. And I think of one thing, write it down and then just start censoring myself because I fear what they'll all think if I read the unedited version.

    Around my family, I try to talk about some things. For example, I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Some things I find outright absurd but there's some things I hear about how we're getting screwed over daily by the higher ups without even realizing it, and sometimes I bring it up in discussion if we happen to be talking about politics, and my brother just makes fun of me for listening to those conspiracies and for the rest of them, it all just seems a bit over their heads.

    So that's just a couple of examples where I've censored myself. I wouldn't go around deliberately trying to piss anyone off with my views...but those are my views and if we're talking about those kinds of topics, then I feel like I should be able to air them without being judged.

    I just get a little bit sick and tired of saying only what I think people want to hear. I'd like to meet people who share a lot of these same ideas and get an interesting discussion going but I just fear getting ridiculed and I have a pretty bg fear of being drawn into arguments too because I'm not that good at standing my ground and the other person always ends up winning the argument even if I strongly believe in what I'm saying.
     
  6. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    Be you. You have to sleep with your conscience and it'll be easier when you know that you'll be remembered for who you were, not what people around you thought.
     
  7. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    i think your bro is just being your bro...poking fun (even in bad taste) as he doesnt agree with your views.

    some people will believe anything they are told, i am a sceptic, does that make me think everything is a conspiracy? i dont know, but i listen to the news and take it with a pinch of salt, its all down to where you live and how information is given and how honest and reliable it has been previously. yes history will show things have been covered up, heads of government have lied stolen and declared war for weak reasons, .and sometimes peeps dont want to accept that. dont feel bad for having a different opinion and dont let those that dont agree make you feel bad. turn the tables and ask them to convince you why your thinking is wrong. you dont need to convert them.

    stay safe :hug:
     
  8. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Thanks icequeen. And ConfusedSilence, I actually never thought about it like that but I suppose I would rather be remembered for who I was.
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    tell the truth in your writing group. it will feel so good. i tell the truth in my art, no matter how scary it is. i can't, or won't cover up. that's all in the past for me. try it out next time, just take a deep breath and go for it. i wish you luck!
     
  10. chipper

    chipper Well-Known Member

    it's okay not to be too open as long as you're miserable. all of us need to leave something for ourselves.
     
  11. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    I agree thats its not good to be completely honest and open about what you think of other people, on the other hand the people that changed the world went always against the grain and the conventional thinking of the time.
     
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