should I tell my therapist?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by PiecesMended, Sep 8, 2010.

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  1. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    This is one of my first posts on this site other than my intro. I've self-harmed since I was about 12-13 and I'm now 16. I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and I'm thinking about telling her. My brother thinks I should (I recently told him) I want to tell her but the thing is that I dont want my parents to find out and although my brother said they wont... I kind of led him to beleive that I'd stopped. I really dont know what to do now and I'm stressing over it. I'd really appriciate some advice or someone just saying something.
  2. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    As a rule it is better to tell your therapist about self harm. I would however ask your therapist if everything is just between the two of you. I do not know the laws in the UK about confidentiality for teenagers. If the therapist says it is, I would tell the therapist. ( In the US, the only time a therapist can say anything about an adult is if you are in danger to yourself or someone else.) Good Luck hope therapy helps you.
  3. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    The rules are the same in the UK, you have to be a danger to yourself or someone else. Although I'm not sure how far they're willing to push the "danger to yourself" thing. I assume you'd be safe telling them about your self harm, though, as long as the therapist didn't believe that your self harm was serious enough that they thought it was going to kill you.
  4. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    Honestly, telling your therapist is the best route. Their going to find out eventually when you slip up and let something out. The trick is making it seem like you DON'T plan to do it. When I said something to my doctor about it (therapy came later) I told him that it was something that I did to myself but that I don't want to do it to myself anymore, and that's why I'm telling you this. It doesn't matter if it's the truth or not, just getting it out helps.
  5. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    curious, why don't you want to tell your parents? Are they abusive or do they think you are a "good" child?
  6. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    They think I'm 'good' I mean they know I have problems and they can be quite supportive but they don't really listen to me. and any problem I have isn't really a problem to them if you know what I mean. and also my dad doesnt really understand stuff like this. He sees things in black and white and he'd only get mad at me.
  7. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I had that same problem growing up. Being the good child and if their lack of truly understanding is the response you get, that is a dynamic that you just described that hinders you from [gaining] the true support you need.

    You can continue stuffing your feelings and suffer but that has consequences that you are already and have been dealing with....depression/SI.

    Parents are unfortuantley, not perfect and people too. It's important to demonstrated authority and assertiveness in pride of your own self. Now if they are violent and you feared they would put a gun to your head, then I can see how you would completey shut the idea out......

    In order for you and your parents to move forward and have a more mature/loving relationship meaning for them to understand you, it's going to take being open, honest and sharing those intimate thoughts/feelings.

    True, their first repsonse and reaction may hurt and feel like they don't care or really care but one thing with certainty, you have your clinician to help faciliate and channel that dialogue but first you must feel comfortable about the dialogue between you and your clinican. Once you feel confident, you can disclose as much or as little information about what you are really going through.

    My parents reaction was denial, anger and embarrassment. They valued prestige, money and power....I wished I talked back and advocated for myself. 30 some years later and it's hard. You have an opportunity to open the doors of pain and get the healing to begin.....
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