I was diagnosed with depression over four months ago and have been on citalopram ever since. But recently all those thoughts have started coming back into my head, the nasty ones that make me hysterical at night, the ones that if I ever told my mother would make her cry again. I don't want these thoughts again because I am trying to get better but I'm not sure who to tell. I hurt my mother enough - and I know that's stupid, she'd want to help me but confessing that I was suicidal the first time almost broke her heart, I can't do it again. Please answer if you can, I'm struggling with having those black cloud moments again.