Should I tell someone?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Serendipitous, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. Serendipitous

    Serendipitous Member

    I was diagnosed with depression over four months ago and have been on citalopram ever since. But recently all those thoughts have started coming back into my head, the nasty ones that make me hysterical at night, the ones that if I ever told my mother would make her cry again.

    I don't want these thoughts again because I am trying to get better but I'm not sure who to tell. I hurt my mother enough - and I know that's stupid, she'd want to help me but confessing that I was suicidal the first time almost broke her heart, I can't do it again. Please answer if you can, I'm struggling with having those black cloud moments again.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Your well being is very important. Tell your mother about what is happening to you...she is an adult and, although it was painful to hear how you felt, it is a sign how much she cares, and I am sure she would want to know...protect yourself not her...J
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    if you aren't ready to tell your mom yet there are other people you can talk to, like samaritans or one of the other suicide hotlines. you could also make an appointment with your doctor and let him or her know that the suicidal thoughts are back. i think the important thing is to do is to share with someone. you don't have to fight this alone.
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Jessica ..being a Mum myself I think your Mum would want to know...please tell her....she wants what's best for you..That's what Mums are for.
    maybe you need your meds adjusted because you've only been on them a short time...*hug*
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to be open and honest with people who love you so you can get help okay Your meds need to be increase maybe or changed up so you can get well again okay please tell someone keep you safe and strong okay Your mom would want that for you I being a mom would want to know so i could help you more.
     
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I think you should tell her. Whatever pain it causes will be infinitely less than the pain she will feel if you kill yourself!
     
  7. Confused and Lost

    Confused and Lost Well-Known Member

    Jessica, I too have been on citalopram and depending on your dosage it does make you in effect worse before you get better. Mine cleared up in a wekk but i am on a low dosage depending on how it goes talk to someone you need to :) x
     
  8. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    Hi Jessica, you need to tell someone. as the guys have written. one of the biggest problems we all suffer with is isolation. cutting people off and trying to do this on our own. we can't. we all need help. If you are unsure about telling you mum talk to the samaritans or you doctor. please. stay safe, stay strong.
     
  9. Serendipitous

    Serendipitous Member

    Thank you all, I really appreciate the support. That's the hardest thing about this: that I feel like no one else gets it and having no one to talk to who feels the same. I'm really grateful I found this site.

    I'll call my doctor and ask his advice and I'll try to find the courage to talk to my mom. Thanks so much, I feel a little more secure now that I can handle this. ^^
     
  10. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    you really are welcome. keep posting and let us know that you are ok.
     
  11. Serendipitous

    Serendipitous Member

    I told my mom. She was getting worried anyway. When I get the black seeping back into my brain again I tend to act weird. It was easier than I thought but we both got emotional about it. Thanks for giving me the push I needed. :rose:
     
  12. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    Well done. The road is very long. There will be further massive obstacles to overcome but do keep talking to your mum.

    Oh and us.
     
  13. Serendipitous

    Serendipitous Member

    Done and done. ^^ I tend to find it easier to talk to people over the internet so feel free to give me a figurative kick up the backside when I need it. ~laughs~
     
  14. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    I've got long legs:hamster:
     
  15. Smile_Empty_Soul

    Smile_Empty_Soul New Member

    It is important to talk to people whether in real life, internet or the Samaritans. Try not to keep things inside or dwell on them too much. Have you a close friend in real life who you can talk to?

    Never give up the fight as there are many people who care about you, especially your Mum.
     
  16. Serendipitous

    Serendipitous Member

    Unfortunately I have the crappy combination of being totally antisocial crossed with friends who unless they're talking about themselves don't really care. They're fine for when I want my mind focused on something trivial but no, my IRL friends aren't exactly reliable. My support system for the past four years has instead been an online friend and my cat.

    Guh, that's pathetic. A girl who lives across the Atlantic and a cat who bites my fingers off for chicken are more help than my actual friends. :dry:

    But oddly enough that realisation doesn't bother me...?
     
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