Should i tell?

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Around 6 months ago I had sex with the priest from my local parish. He is a very kind and nice man, but it was just a one off. I feel really shy about typing this out because I haven't told anyone about this. The main cause of my anxiety isn't that I slept with a priest, I am also HIV+ and have known this for over 2 years.
I don't know what to do and often have thoughts of suicide because I have no one to talk to. Can someone please, please help?

I am sad and unhappy.
Hi ploop

I think you shooudl tell him about the HIV for his own safety. I know that this is an awkward situation but telling him won't only be for his safety but it might make you feel better so it's not hanging over your head. :hug:

as for the suicidal feelings. I'm here most of the time so feel free to pm me
It's not just him though. There was 2 more of his friends there that night, we were all intoxicated. Lot's went on that I don't feel I can mention right now.
well, if you don't feel you can tell all of them, maybe you can tell the one you'd feel most comfortable with.. and hopefully trust him enough for him to pass on the info to the others.. they have a right to know as well as you did when you first found out. I know this is a sticky situation but they need to know for their health purposes. Consider it at least.. :hug: soryr if I'm no help

by the way :) welcome to the forum.. noticing you're only posts are here


Well-Known Member
You should do what's right. In your heart, you know that you have to tell anyone you've had sex with. Please do not let them go on not knowing. By making it known, you can save others.
Peace, love, good luck...
It's so hard though, hard like a big stick thwacking my head over and over. I spent this Sunday afternoon at church, only to be tormented by him and those altar boys again. They couldn't even look me in the eye!

I feel as if my faith is killing me. Should I tell my parents?

Please help.



Account Closed
well then u need to tell him in confession. then u need to consider if u should report the inappropriate behaviour else where. this sorta thing is not supose to happen. how old are you?
I'm 23 I have moved around allot in time. I think i should go now because i am scared. I think i should deal with this on my own it feels like presure, it is not help


Account Closed
ah seems it should feel like pressure peoples lives are in ur hands. i mean they could sleep with others and so on i am sure u know the risk. crazy situation hope u find ur way and hope u get the support u need. stay and i am sure u will i am not the best for support i tend to see everything life or death
<mod edit: bunny - flaming>, i'm at the end of my tether!! <mod edit>, who can help me??? I need to go to sleep but I carnt cos i carnt, arrrrrrrrrrrgh its like lying on shards of glass. oh

sorry. im sorry for this. I will sleep now. i can work this out. sorry.

i love your thanks and all. bye for now bye

Alf Stewart

Hi Ploop,

Please don't let your experiences with these people affect your faith.

Your religion is obviously so important to you. It may be prudent to join another church where you can distance yourself from the experiences of the past.

Whatever has gone on before can be dealt with then forgotten about.

I tried sleeping only to be woken from my awakeness from my tears. I think i am ok. im sure of it. I can be STRONG lIKE OX. tHANX ALF STEWART. Whilst i am HOME, now i feel like i am in a babies whomb AND not AWAY from the human contact that i much desire. I feeel STRONGER yet week like a given day.

i feel better


Alf Stewart

Ploop said:
the human contact that i much desire.
Might want to take it easy on the human contact part. Just for a little while.

Obviously simple family affection is okay but don't be rushing into anything overly physical until you've sorted everything else out.



Well-Known Member
I can't say that I understand what you're going through, HIV is serious business and the only other people who will fully understand are those dealing with the same issues. Are there any support groups in your area? Sometimes it helps to talk to someone else who understands and who you can be open with about your status. I think many people who are positive for a life long STD feel as though they're holding back a huge secret from everyone they know. It can be very relieving to have someone to talk about it with. I have HSV type 2 (genital herpes) and while it isn't as serious it is permenant and I understand why you didn't tell this priest of your status. It's scary telling people! Fear of rejection can be very intense.

On the other hand I think you have a moral responsibility to tell the priest about your status asap. I suspect that while it will be difficult you will feel a lot better getting it off your chest. Honesty really is the best policy.



Active Member
This man is in a position of trust - should'nt he be saving souls. You must go and get a test immediately to put your mind at rest. Do you have a samaritans or somewhere you can go and chat with someone independent. Would like to chop this priest's willy off. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault, just get help.
Well it's the anniversary of that terrible day in 2001. I feel it's a good day to leave this world in respect of the squashed and burned hero's.

I actually feel real good today and your love is with me, I know.

I know my torments will return and I cannot face up to them that persecute me.

Love you all,

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