should i try to help? can i?

Discussion in 'The Uncertainty Principle' started by twilight, Nov 16, 2006.

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  1. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    As usual, social anxiety disorder has to ruin everything. :mad: I was in writing class yesterday and my professor mentioned that his wife has been having some problems with depression. It is so bad that she had to leave to go to a hospital. He said something like when someone you love is suffering like that you suffer too. I wanted to run up to the front of the room and hug him, anything to make him feel better. I know what it is like to feel depressed and I want to do something to help! This is the part that is really hard to write down but towards the end of the class he came up to me and asked me how I was doing. He usuallly does this and I really appreciate it. It helps to think that someone actually cares how I am doing. I was really nervous though because of SA and I also felt depressed at the same time. I hate it when I get really nervous and I can't think of anything to say. All the anxiety gets in the way of coming up with anything intelligent to say. So he said something like "sorry if I'm bothering you" and then I said "you don't bother me." I wish he didn't think that he was bothering me. I hate how bad I am with people! I wish I could learn to make all the fear go away and just talk to people like a normal person. Maybe it's none of my business but I want to help him like he helps me. I could call or e-mail him but I am not good at talking to anyone. Maybe anything I would say would only make things worse.
     
  2. WastedPotential

    WastedPotential Well-Known Member

    You don't have to fear making it worse. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares makes a difference.

    Maybe you can't really help your friend, but you can let him know that you care for and appreciate him.

    Sometimes we just need to know that someone cares.
     
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Dear twilight

    I agree that when people around you suffer like that you hurt aswell, i tend to hurt alot when people i love and care about on here suffer, breaks my heart that i can't do anything about it. You wanting to hug him shows me how much of a loving and caring person you are.

    I understand about not being able to talk about it, i have the same problem talking verbally. It depends who im talking to really, theres someone on here who i can generally talk to verbally and be ok with what im saying, so i completely understand why you find talking difficult.

    I think the idea of emailing him would be a good idea, from what i can tell you have a way of writing down what you feel so i think this may help you and because he has had dealings with depression he will understand how hard it is. It would help you alot if you have someone to talk to.

    Sending you big hugs

    Vikki
     
  4. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the hugs vikki :hug:

    I just sent the e-mail :eek:hmy: I am so nervous! Of course I had to read through it about ten times but I still might have said the wrong thing! Now I just have to worry about how he will take it. I wish I didn't have to analyze every word that comes out of my mouth or every single word that I type sometimes. :nerves:
     
  5. amee

    amee Active Member

    I think your genuine caring and intent ring through perfectly. I get nervous like that because I don't want to harm the person in question, and find that usually, the easiest thing to do is the most effective -- just tell him your concerns and intentions.

    I doubt you could've done something to the email that'd dilute such pure consideration. :)

    --A
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2006
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