should kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Erika, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. Erika

    Erika Account Closed

    no one cares of me. in this world all i see is survival, competition and im obviously not good at it. Nor did i inherit good genes, have anxiety prob, just unhappy all the time. lately feel lke i have no energy what so ever, cant even walk straight on the streets i dont know whats wrong with me. I see my future with more menatl problems, then finally ending in a hospital. if i truly think of it ive never been happy for very long, if any. so whats the point. i think craziness s worse tha death isnt it.

    im 23/f btw
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug: I care.
    Maybe ending up in a hospital isn't that bad? It might make you better :smile:
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It sounds like things are overwhelming for you at the moment.

    Do you have any professional support? Like a therapist or anyone? Have you been to the doctors.

    If not, could you go? The sooner that you start to get help, the better for you it will be.

    You might see more mental health problems in your future, but you don't know for sure they will be there. There are a lot of things that can be done to help someone with anxiety problems, and depression.

    If you did end up in hospital, then they might be able to offer you help that you couldn't get elsewhere. And then hopefully you would feel better when they released you. But being in hospital is not that common. Plenty of people with mental health problems don't get admitted to hospital.

    Why do you only see the world as survival and competition? Has anything particular happened to make you see it that way?

    Both of those things are part of the world, but there is an awful lot more to it too. Could you maybe make a list, or a spider diagram, of the positive things about the world?

    Do you have any friends or family that you can talk to?

    And, if no one cares, why did I reply to this thread?
  4. Erika

    Erika Account Closed

    thank you very much for the replies. i think its all about survival and everything else is the illusion. this is how i see it and i blv i see it clearly, we all try to illusion ourselves not to see it.

    i will see a councellor again i was away from her for 2 weeks as i was away and different reasons. but she doesnt care, when we approach a real prob she chnges the topic.

    i knew ill get some positive replies but it doest chnge the reality of lif, survival etc.

    oh well maybe seeing the councellor will help me and maybe there are more things. i dont know.

    also you say that things are overwhealming you but it does not feel like it. ive just kind of finished uni last term, go nothing to do really. that may be the problem. anyway thank you for the replies.

  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Seeing a counsellor is GREAT, so well done you. But it does sound like your counsellor is not overly helpful if when you raise something important to you, she changes the subject. Maybe you could try to find another therapist, someone who will listen and talk about issues that you need to.

    Is it possible that what you see as not the illusion, might be your way of trying to illusion yourself not to see something else? I'm not saying you are wrong, or questioning your beliefs as such, more applying what you said about everyone illusioning about other things, to your theory. Maybe what you see as reality is not the full reality?

    Finishing uni is a huge thing for most people. It's a time of massive change. Have you managed to find a job? What do you intend to do now you have finished? If you find yourself not doing much, maybe you could do some voluntary work. It might be that if you keep busy and find a purpose, it might help you.

    Take care of yourself
  6. Erika

    Erika Account Closed

    thank you. its not that easy with these jobs. i cant work in some ways i have this social anxiety or low self esteem. im studying complementary therapies stress management, mainly wanna help myslef. and have no ideas how ill use the qualifcations.
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    often, voluntary work can be a good way to build up self esteem.

    Also, if you google 'ways to improve self esteem' a lot of stuff comes up that you could try and do to help yourself.
  8. crzykidshanana

    crzykidshanana Well-Known Member

    I was gonna say something...but it looks like all you really need is one person giving you advice on this.

    You'll be fine.

    Just have a little faith in yourself...n' remember that things can ALWAYS get better.

  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    The more opinions and comments the better. I would never even claim that my comments might help someone, so the more people that reply the better. Other ideas and suggestions would be welcome, I'm sure.
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