Should you admit your most inner thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sociallyrejected93, Nov 22, 2015.

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  1. Will life always be this hard?? I can't seem to "snap out of it" lost and alone with anxiety and depression is scary but yet opening up to others is proven so difficult and painful. Again after a suicide attempt I'm here but I just don't feel the need or desire to carry on.
    I've been referred to another therapist but it's another individual to trust. How do you guys manage to open up, it just feels so tiring and scary. I wish it worked I failed my death.
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  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am glad your attempt did not work and that you are still here with us. Did you go to the hospital? I'm not the right person to ask for advice because I haven't found my way of life yet but I know I'll get there. I find it easy to open up to therapists because I know everything I say is confidential. I wish the best for you. *hugs*
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  3. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Hugs and best wishes.
    Each time you try and open up a bit is like breaking a hole in a wall. You NEED to do it carefully and with the right person for making a window on the sunshine out of it instead of making the wall to collapse. I think you already know your limits, be carefully with who you choose to open up, but then do it, it will take courage and stenght but you do have them and opening up will free you! I know it because thats how it was with my good T!
    Best wishes
  4. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    sociallyrejected, No! Life does not have to be always this hard I realize that you would have a difficult time right now understanding this, Some people have it harder, Not what you want to hear is it! For you right now life is more then you can bear, Life was that way for me also, I have tried to many times, I Have felt just like you do right now! more then once as well, I want to try and say something about the question you asked! How do we manage to open up? I believe for everyone it is different, some just start an can not stop talking, some everything they say is almost in code, some will talk to just one person, some want a lot of feedback and information before they say a sentence. You right now do not have to open up, that is your choice, we don't tell you what to say or how to say it!
    it is up to you! How much are you willing to share and tell others is your choice, I have always felt better after I have shared, I then realize i am not alone in my fears or insecurities, they are shared by many in here, it can be tiring an scary it does not have to be!
    We are here for you and ourselves as Well, We care, we do not judge, i believe that you know this this is a safe place to come and be a part of We offer help and support! Please be gentle! When you decide where and how far you are willing to go we will be waiting!
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  5. I'm ashamed of feeling so insecure and weak I guess I'm struggling to find who I am and let these demons free. I'm scared to share on here as I am so confused myself. I know people say a problem shared is a problem halved but I just can't find the words yet. maybe I am just not ready to take that leap of faith thanks True-Lee
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  6. Petal thanks I did have to go to hospital for 3 days, I guess this is a very strange time. I dunno how to feel. I am going to a therapist but I don't trust him fully I find this hard to do. It's just so strange talking about myself when I don't feel I am worthy
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    You have nothing to be ashamed of, Fear is a natural feeling, feeling weak right now would be natural too, You are exhausted, you have been through an emotionally trying event, it probably feels like you have been hit by a truck. Most of us in here if not all have been where you are now at least once if not more times. We understand all of those feelings, they are not foreign to anyone in here that you talk to! Do not hurry, take your time. you are still fragile and delicate now. Try to slow your thoughts down your mind is racing, No one in here like I said before will judge you! We are here for You! We care, we care because we have been right where you are now! If and when You are Ready, we will be waiting, another thing you may want to consider, we do not even know your real name! we just know you as your nick in here or your screen name or Avatar! No Rush No Hurry! In any event, You are Welcome! Thank You for trusting me with your feelings that Far! I do know how hard it is!
  8. NotSoJoyful

    NotSoJoyful Member

    I can definitely relate.
    It's like... I know by keeping it bottled up, I'm doing myself more harm than good... but at the same time, when I think I want to open up to someone, the words get stuck in the back of my throat and I never follow through.
    Sometimes we get into these phases in life and it feels like we get stuck. That we're destined to remain in the same crappy/heartbreaking/emotional rollercoaster/disappointing... whichever it seems like... period of time. We feel like we're trapped and that there's no way out. But that's not the case.
    And i know it can be a tad frustrating to hear the same "it will get better", "things will turn around"... but hearing it from people here, who have actually gone through the same or are currently going through, can really make a difference. Some of us are living it right along with you, me included.
    You have a therapist. That's a good start. And as easy as it is to be dis-trusting, just try to keep in mind that they know how to help. And that they won't judge.
    In regards to your attempt, it's GREAT you're still here. Even if you don't feel the same. If I can be honest (anymore than I already have), we could both be dead right now... but the fact that you aren't, and that you came and posted, and that I came across your story and read that someone else gets it.... did good things for me.
    I hope being here does the same for you.
    There's no need to be ashamed. I want you to see that by taking the step to open up here, was good. In more ways than one.
  9. Thank you, I'm glad I've managed to help you NotSoJoyful. I'm getting a different therapist and hopefully seeing my GP tomorrow I think I'm going to be open and tell her how I'm really feeling. I'm not so sure if being alive is a good thing and I've managed to say goodbye to an old friend but I'm wondering if it'll be the last time i see him but I don't know if I wish to share that truth with her.
    How do you manage to stay so strong, I hope you keep on going with your journey
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  10. NotSoJoyful

    NotSoJoyful Member

    Did you get a chance to speak with someone? How did it go?
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