im a 19 year old guy. i started cutting around august of last year but stoped in december after i cut myself real deep one night and left a huge scar. i guess it scared me. i am very embarrassed and ashamed of myself for cutting. sometimes i still want to cut but i know cant cuz i want to go into the military. anyway, i met this girl over the internet about a year ago. we have gotten very close. were just friends but im closer to her then iv been with anybody else. she helped me out alot when i was really depressed all the time. i still am depressed sometimes but shes still there. she is very important to me. we live pretty far away from each other but now were talking about flying to see each other and even maybe living together. my problem is this: on one hand i feel like i owe it to her to tell her about my cutting before she makes any kind of commitment to spend a decent amount of money to see me or to live with me. i think she should know so she can decide if she really wants to have a close friendship with me. on the other hand i feel like, why rock the boat? what she dosent know wont hurt her or me. right? i would be sad if i lost her but it would be even worse if she found out by accident or something later and it was a huge deal. im not sure what to do. im hoping someone can tell me what the right choice is or maybe im over thinking it. any advice would be appreciated. i hope your understanding what im trying to say. im not good at writing and stuff like that. i think its alright but let me know if there is something i need to clarify.