I'm having a bad night and right now it's showing itself in me being very body conscious... Other than my weight there's things about my body people have pointed out to be different and strange... Well other than my weight... I have shoulder dimples. In school if I wore a top that showed off my shoulders or when changing in PE it would always become a big deal. It ranged from "eew" to "cool!" I looked up some medical stuff on Google. Apparently it's rare, and a lot of people find it attractive for what ever reason... I have a 'cute' nose... its small and a drama teacher said it was a bit 'mouse' like... my septum is for some reason longer than my nose... and yeah... I have long thick dark eyelashes. Even that gets commented on. Girls complaining that it wasn't fair... to being accused of always wearing makeup... As a teenager people commented on my perfect skin... My boobs bring big... ew. I know people would love all of these things. And it could be worse... but the thing is, it always became negative. It was always people making me feel uncomfortable and wrong. Why can I never love my own body? Why can I not appreciate these things? Why did I get an eating disorder and became overweight? Why have I selfharmed for most of my life and ruined myself? I guess the people who say I could be beautiful if I lost weight would have been right if it wasn't for the scars on my arms and even face... And I can't just lose weight like that, I deal with eating disorders and my doctor has banned any exercise harder than walking because of my spinal condition (scoliosis and bulging disc and sore hip) Why can the world make you feel so wrong?