Shouldn't I feel better now?!

[Octsia]

So... after many horrible school years, I'm done with this school. This school that simply tortured me for years. The bullies aren't in my life anymore. So why aren't I happy?

I have a great boyfriend, we've had our bumps but that's because he's as down as I am. He loves me and I love him, and it's working out well. So why aren't I happy?

I have an amazing friend that stuck with me through so much, that I know will never stop helping me for anything. So why aren't I happy?


Lately now, I've been showing serious signs of aggression. Like, the other day, I went to the park to chill-lax. But for some unknown reason, I chucked rocks at four boys a few years older than me, and when they came at me we just faught. And they beat the hell outta me, but it left me exhilerated. Soooo... uh... WHY!? -cries- I don't wanna be aggressive, but right now I just want to get hurt and hurt people back. I think it has to do with the bullies from school... Ack! Anyone have any solutions????

 

[total eclipse]

sorry you have so much pain still inside you Until you deal with all that pain you won't get better hun. Time to see a therapist and deal with once and for all okay time to heal. hugs

 

[Octsia]

Thanks. But I'm... really nervous, I saw one before and I only got worse.

 

[total eclipse]

You will feel worse for awhile because you are dealing with facing that pain but after you get through that pain there will be healing more peace If the last therapist was not a good connection for you then try a new one okay. Sometimes thats what it takes a new approach from someone different.
I know it is scary hun but you need to face the pain before you can heal hugs

 

[tweetypie]

Hi just becuase its over doenst mean youve dealt with it. I really think you would benefit from some counselling. Sometimes we go off the rails because we arent equiped to cope with what is happening in our lives xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Octsia]

I think my only problem with counselling is that they have me to what's best.