shouldn'tve even

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DatAlgorithm, Oct 4, 2015.

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  1. DatAlgorithm

    DatAlgorithm Well-Known Member

    been born at all. I'm in severe pain and loneliness. I love my parents but I hate their ignorance and stupidity in bringing me into this world... they should've known better. My brother is emotionally abusive towards me so I couldn't even bring myself to wish him a happy birthday since every time I talk to him I get triggered afterwords... What were my parents thinking? NEITHER of them ever got along with THEIR siblings, why the ASS would they think having more than one child would work out for THEM because of this moronic "sibling culture" this idiotic society has? Just because They should've never had me... why did 2 completely incompatible people not assess themselves before having another WELL PAST optimum age of fertility!? One dreamer with bad bacne (which I HAVE TO SUFFER FROM BTW, THANKS! that's SO not a death rattle for someone like me who dreams of being an actor!) who never had the guts to be who he wanted to be thanks to his need for a mommy figure and a complete stickler who settles for less on all counts and has to front that she enjoys her 9-5 desk job. ALL the more reason to hate the status quo and ridiculous familial pressure to have more than one child; you wouldn't wanna be the singled-out "only child" LOSERS would you!? That would be doubleplusungood!!! Anyways, both didn't get their happy little slave drone college boy out of me. I'm sure my dad would be spinning in his grave if they buried him and that my mother is deeply disappointed that I found college to be one of the worst places in the entire world for me and that I'm an idiotic, talentless dreamer.

    For this I am sorry (especially to my dead father... RIP) and I feel death is the only solution short of an outright lobotomy. I hate lacking the talent and good looks to go for what I want AND the severe depression whenever I tried being a conformist college boy or working 50 hours a week... if I'm forced to be a slave can I at least be a HAPPY one, or a CONTENT one at that? But this is life and it's all bullshit, so even THAT is too much to ask for apparently.

    If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's to NEVER settle for less in this world. EVER. I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS!!! Otherwise, you'll just end up with a depressed person like me or give birth to one, with no hope or will to live. Thus, the only positive thing about me is I refuse to bring a child into this world, because I would NEVER want a child to go through what I go through or worse, out of my own selfish desires.

    I know there's no real solution, but hell, thanks to anyone who reads this, I guess.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2015
  2. wrbotha

    wrbotha Member

    Hi there

    I get what you mean about not wanting to bring a child into this world. My girlfriend doesnt want kids, and neither do i, but when i suggested i get a vasectomy she flipped. Said my choice is because of my cynicism...

    I just think its dumb to bring a person into a world of suffering. Like one is creating suffering.
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