Shouldn't've trusted her anyway.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hurricane, Aug 10, 2008.

  1. Hurricane

    Hurricane Member

    See, my selfesteem is a big problem for me. It's part of the reason why I'm here. But, there's this ex girlfriend I still talk to - I'm bi - and we got into an argument. She attacked my self esteem completely. I really feel like nothing more than some ugly childish little fool, now.,

    Am I actually allowed to post small parts of the convo? If not, feel free to tell me and I'll remove it - or you remove it, if you like.
    "Xepher XVI (16:51:12): You would know. And in fact, I think everyone that sees you in those low cut shirts and short skirts would know, leaning over to flaunt your cleavage to get the attention you like to pretend you get otherwise.
    Xepher XVI (16:54:54): You give off such either over confidence or low confidence that it's almost repelling."

    I dunno... I just feel horrible. I act overconfident to hide that I feel horrible - I've opened up to her a couple of time with low confidence.

    All I did was joke about a guy I know, that all I'd screamed in the past few weeks was his name. She knows for a fact I'm a virgin and such.

    Just... Argh. At this point in time I feel like crying, storming up a real hurricane and then doing things I shouldn't do. I'd type it all out in a blog, but... No one would see it. For some reason, having people /know/ what happened makes me feel a bit better.

    She played me, too. She played me good. Led me on confessed to some things. I said okay and stayed with her, she started fights and just... I couldn't do it and broke up with her. We have more fights than ever, now, and it attacks my self esteem. It hurts. A few days ago, too.

    "Xepher XVI (21:38:54): Way to misunderstand.
    Xepher XVI (21:38:55): Then again.
    Xepher XVI (21:38:58): You never understand.
    Xepher XVI (21:39:00): You never listen.
    Xepher XVI (21:39:03): Fuck, you don't even care.
    Xepher XVI (21:39:11): It's hard to believe that anyone aside from you matters to you.
    Xepher XVI (21:39:17): Peace out. "

    Yeah. Ouch.

    Now, to stop attempting to bite my lip off, stop crying, to re do my make up and attempt to act like I'm confident and as if nothing happened when she comes back. -Shaky breath.-