Hey John,
Thank you for being so honest and open with us, I am really sorry to hear about your situation. You are going through more hardships than I did when I was 15, and you do not deserve to be going through this. I am really sorry to hear about your parents. I believe that you are a strong person and that things will get better even if it doesn't seem this way now.
I also believe that God loves you and that He knows what you are going through and feels your pain. Jesus was also let down by people and He also had a good friend die. He died on the cross for you b/c you are worth it.
I believe that God can help you get through this, He helped me when I was at the point of suicide. When I was a teenager, my parents were fighting and I was being picked on in jr. school everyday for 3 years. I felt like killing myself or others. In high school a friend of mine killed himself. I was alone with no one who would be able to give me peace, eventually I found that in Jesus. My problems did not go away and things did not turn perfect. Some old ones disappeared, new ones came. But I know that whatever trials I face, God will help me get through them.
If you ever want to talk, my email is
[email protected] . I'll try to reply asap, usually within a day or 2.
Thank you for sharing and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Cristo Vive!
- Tomasz