Well I'm going but I know there's that factor in the human brain that makes you want to live, I really don't want to die but I have too as there's no way out except to end things. I have OCD or OCD like thoughts and memories brought from my depression these are embarrassing and distressing Deprssion that is chronic and Anxiety where I just randomly panic- I am not scared of anything just I randomly get anxious. Its been hell since it started when I was a kid, massive stress and bullying started it I would of gotten help a lot sooner but accidents prevented that and couldn't get help for myself and my symptoms got worse. since then I have gotten help with meds and psychologists but nothing works and nothing can change the past. so should I suffer more and just get older with no prospects and unhappiness. I know I have family that cares and some friends that care. Looking at the statistics not many people commit suicide which is good but then it makes me feel like more of a freak, many people have anxiety problems...but really only 5%...I just want the pain to end and to be happy. I really hope that my method will work but what if it dosn't I don't want to be in my 30's with this problem or managing it. I find myself saying if I did it a while ago people would of been much more recovered now and I wouldn't of gone through this pain but also I just want to live normally and have a life like everyone else.