shrink is ready to give up on me!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by downunder, Feb 2, 2009.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    My husband faxed a message to the shrink and told her that I threw up in the shower, it was the result of an attempt.

    She then asked me about it, I got really nervous and rubbed my back with my hand a couple of times when I am nervous. Told her I had done it twice in the last 4 weeks. She was not impressed. She asked didn't I care about my husband and parents.

    Then she pushed the issue of anti-depressants, and now she wants me to go and see some prof psych for another opinion. I am worried, opinion about what? She asked if I would give her a commitment that I would be still around the following week. I told her that I have to say "yes". Then she made a comment about me attending a therapy group for "depression" or "eating disorders". I don't really feel like doing that because I don't have much of an eating disorder, and I think I will be the fattest and oldest person there and will not have much in common with "teeny boppers". With the depression one, I think I am suffering from grief and not depression and worry that I would feel worse hearing everyone elses problems. I did attend a group that I found myself for parents who have lost a child. I went last night and found it really helpful.

    Then she said that she will still continue to see me, and was it helping. I wanted to show her a photo of my daughter hanging from a tree to ask some questions about it such as how her feet were so close to the ground and the embankment being well worn and she refused.

    She said she had real concerns and I laughed and said that I didn't. At one stage when she was talking I almost burst into tears when she mentioned hospitalisation and anti-depressants and I found myself grabbing hold of my long sleeve t-shirt that I had in my bag. I was just holding it for security, I wasn't cold. She went to adjust the airconditioning and then I just put it away.

    She is going to ring my husband this week and then she told me that she didn't want to be the go between, but yet 4 weeks ago when she told my husband that he was free to contact her anytime he was worried about me. She is going to tell him what I tried to do. He will get mad.

    I am really worried about seeing this other psych. I feel really tearful at the moment. I had to see my workplace doctor last week.

    I feel like having another go at it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2009
  2. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Mind if I ask if you've tried antidepressants? Is there a reason you feel so strongly against the idea?

    I have no doubt whatsoever that what you have gone through and are grieving over is about the most horrible thing a person can have to deal with. But it's also a problem where the solution ultimately will lie in your ability to live with and feel as good as possible about the situation going forward.

    For what has happened to you, there aren't really any external solutions or fixes. There doesn't seem to be any outward battle or change to the system that will alleviate what has happened. It will ultimately come down to your inner fight to want to live and feel better.

    Antidepressants may or may not be the answer, but your battle ground is inside. I would suggest at least considering all the possible ways you can arm yourself to win that battle. You deserve your own best effort on that one.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Treating a su patient takes a certain type of compassion and boundary setting...she is trying to enlist you the best she are very brave to have been that honest with her...give it time and if she feels the relationship is not in your best interest, have her make a referral...also, yes, a pdoc is a very important resource!!!
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: downunder,

    I'm sorry you are feeling so low.
    Keep holding on, you have made it through before,you can do it again now.
    Suicide isn't the answer :arms:
  5. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I don't want to be moved around from shrink to shrink. If this doesn't work out, thats it.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Downunder, I'm sorry you feel so badly these days. I'm sure it feels like you're being jostled a bit. I think Sadeyes makes a good point that your shrink is enlisting the best help she can for you - this new p-doc may specialize in things that will help you a lot.

    Please stay safe. :hug:
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