Don't bother telling me what you think will help me, I've tried it all, nothing works. I can't....I never will... I want to be a professional graphic artist but I never will be, a friend of mine online was on the same level as me but in a short time has become so much better. I am nothing, just a fucking idiot with a dream. I don't know why I bother trying, I'm not good enough, I never will be. There is nothing for me. No real reason to live.