Shutting down?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by xoCherie, Sep 5, 2012.

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  1. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    Today, and a few other times, I've noticed that when someone tries to talk about something serious and confrontational to me I just zone out and stare at nothing. I can hear what they're saying, and the responses whisper in my mind, but it's like I can't speak, can't move at all. I can't open my mouth. I get this huge fear that if I speak my thoughts, I'll hurt them and therefore push them away, but by being silent I push them away anyway, which is the fear I had in the first place. I'm sick of it. I want to be able to talk to someone and not have this happen.
    What is it and how can I stop it? I've fucked everything up with this guy today because I just shut down completely when we were trying to talk, and he got so frustrated and just...left.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds like your anxiety is making you disassociate a bit hun sometimes it helps if you can focus on the speaker look at their face while they are talking
    Try just making small talk at first hun ok like what you were doing and how the weather is great or not so great something that won't get too serious
    Small steps at first ok I hope you can talk to someone also abt your anxiety and perhaps take some therapy on building up your self esteem and lessening your fears hugs
     
  3. Damask

    Damask Well-Known Member

    The same exact thing happens to me.

    I've found that the only way through it is just to force yourself to speak. One day you're going to have to stop caring whether or not you may hurt people with your words. You have the right to speak up for yourself.

    There's a Winston Churchhill quote that fits here.

    “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

    You may loose people, and it may hurt, but in the end maybe you'll feel better about yourself.
     
  4. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    Yeah well, I got friend dumped so it's kinda whatever now. I was worried because the guy was saying I don't "let myself trust others enough" and he was kinda pushing for me to talk, but then would turn around and say how he knew I "would talk in my own time". Really mixed messages but I guess he didn't get what he wanted, so he literally friend dumped me. Used the whole "I hope things go well for you" spiel as well. I only knew him for a month so I'm seeing it as a learning curve; no matter how well I feel like we connected on some level, we weren't compatible overall. Considering it's been less than 24 hours I think I'm doing pretty good. Forced me to realise I didn't like him, I liked what I thought he had to offer me; stability.

    I'm seeing my psychologist next Monday; I had an appointment the one just gone but had to cancel it because I had no way to get there. Also had plans to see my youth worker but completely forgot those too. I don't know how I'd bring it up though. Like, we'll end up talking about the situation because for the last two sessions I mentioned him and it's like I need to close that chapter. But I don't know how to explain it properly to a professional that I just completely shut down from anxiety.
     
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