SI cuz im so mad *trig*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Nov 2, 2011.

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  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    I guess i just SI cuz im mad, its a way to hurt, the hurt helps the anger... but it needs to bleed out, or choke out, or burn... i need the pain. I get mad, i kick something... just fucked up my foot and gotta race soon... but i dont know how else to let out my anger... im gonna cut and then take a walk tonight, but i know ill still feel mad when i go to bed, and when i do i never sleep at all... shoudl i just take more pills? i dont know how else to deal with this, its like my mind always wants me to hurt, i know i deserve it, but do i not get a little break? at least if i could sleep to get a break id deal...

    started cutting again
    starte choking again
    burning looking quite welcoming
    no way in hell ill frostbite till i get done with championships tho, i cant run when i do...

    i know where i am... but i dont even know if i WANT to stop... i dont understand it at all...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    TALKING to someone who will listen who will help you cope in more postive ways hun okay please reach out for support
  3. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    support is supposed to be someone that will help you... but nobody understands the best ways to help me, i dont fully understand myself... telling me you know how i fell etc just makes me more angry... thats seems to be all that anyone is able to do...
  4. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about taking up any other sports, like boxing, or any other martial arts? It would be a good way to exhaust yourself and take out your anger. I've got a punching bag in the basement that I go crazy on every once and a while. It helps me at least.
  5. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i WANT to, my parents WONT let me :mad: im really angry about that too... im only allowed to train in hand to hand with my father, and hes so old that rarely happens anymore... :/ besides hes creaky and easy to beat
  6. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i want to cut more so bad. already cut. trying to make it to a min. Want to tho soo bad... so fuckign mad at myself.. just screwing up tonight, and idk wat to do... tried punching. not helping... idk wat to do... gah
  7. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could try to convince them it would be a good idea. As you were saying, your dad is just not enough for you. You're ready for new techniques and in need of different challenges. Something to keep you going.

    Before you try presenting your argument again to them, try to get together and rationalize all your points. Be willing to see their side and meet with a compromise if necessary. I wish you the best of luck.

    As for wanting to cut right now, I know it's hard. I'm itching for It as well. The best thing to do is to try and distract yourself with anything at all. When your emotions are strong it's the worst time to act because it's all you see. I usually give myself a time limit of a few hours so I can calm down, that way I can limit the damage.
  8. under1

    under1 Member

    Degenerate Escapist has some wise words. I understand how you feel with the SI habits. Today I punched a wall because was mad. Bad idea, I think I've broken a knuckle. I hope it gets better for you in the future. Good Luck.
  9. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    thanks escapist, and under
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