A cutter will be the first to tell you that cutters are fucking dumb, but being torn and bleeding beats out being numb. Yet we would never recommend this road from which we've come. You will never be the same once you have succumbed. I remember thinking that I would be okay, if only I could make it so the hurting went away. I thought I would be stronger if I could take the pain. Their words would never hurt again like they had hurt today. I was right, and that’s the thing that makes it all so hard. I never had to hurt again, I was never on my guard. I came to hold all the world in the lowest of regard. Their words flowed around me as my arms became more scarred. To never have to feel again, I know it sounds ideal. But it isn’t only hurt and pain that will cease to be real. Be prepared to lose them all, and it loses its appeal. True, you will not feel pain. You’ll just never feel. And the scars will be a mark of what you threw away. They’ll be there to tell you every. single. day. You’re fucked up beyond repair doomed to slow decay. You will bear the weight alone THIS is what you’ll pay. And I don’t have a happy end because I’m lost, alone. I walked this path and here it led: Arms of scars and heart of stone. Cutting is fucking stupid as evidence has shown. If I could, I’d change it all… if only I had known.