Sick and Tired of that woman

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by DarnTired, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    I've been having trouble with a young lady whose been my writing partner for a while now. My therapist encouraged to write a letter, without posting it if I didn't want to. I wrote it this morning without posting it, but writing it didn't make me feel better. Instead, I relived the whoel thing, got angry, then got sad and very depressed and the medication couldn't stop it. I felt so down that I knew I wasn't going to do anything productive today. Here's the letter I wrote. I must warn you that it get's mean.

    Dear Lauren,

    I’m pained that I have to write this, but the events of the past year have left me no other option: I think it is best that you and I do not work together anymore. In fact, I think its best to consider ourselves no longer friends.
    You have hurt me deeply. Over the past couple of years you have shown me almost no attention whatsoever. Your excuses have all been the same, I’m getting divorced, I’m out of town, I’m working, I’m rehearsing a play, I’m taking a class, I’m not feeling well, someone else is in the hospital, I’m going through a crisis, I’m too busy, don’t bother me. You really hit the message home last December when I called you just to get some info on the show you were doing because I wanted to see it. You answered the phone with a terse, attitude-filled “What is it, Craig”, like I had just spoken to you three minutes before when in reality we hadn’t spoken for a couple of months. I don’t care what it was you were in the middle of. I’m through with being understanding. What I do understand is that you came at me with attitude for no reason after not hearing from me in months. Do you treat everyone who calls you that way, or am I only schmuck in your life who’ll take that from you? I knew you wouldn’t call me the following week like you send you would. Christmas week, no job, can’t afford to see my family, didn’t have any set plans for Christmas, you don’t give a shit. I could have hung myself on Christmas day and you still wouldn’t have found out for months, like you’d even care. After a couple a months, I decided to let bygones be bygones, so I decided to send you a sketch idea that I thought you’d like. No response, not even an acknowledgement that you got it. Then I wrote a welcome back on your facebook page when you got back into town. Again, no acknowledgement, not even a quick “Hello, how are you”. But then I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? After all, after the last time we saw each other you asked to see my newest sketches. I sent them to you and never got an acknowledgement, let alone any hint if you actually read them. It’s just par for the course with you. How many times over the past few years have you bailed on me on projects that you initiated? First it would be, “Craig, let’s do a show!” Then I’d start writing and sending you stuff, we’d have a meeting, maybe two, and then you disappear. Can’t get you on the phone. Nothing! And the time you tried to bail on me during the yakk-yakk sessions. I had to threaten you by saying we weren’t going to work together anymore before you came around. And then came the Folktards shoot: never heard anything from that, did I? One of the reasons that I had so much trouble with Lex in the last year of our friendship was because he kept telling me that you were a flake and that I should dump you. And I stuck up for you! I hate to admit it, but the little prick was right about you, and I had to give up my best friend in the hope that you would at least try to stay in touch with me, even with all of your other commitments. I don’t care what your commitments or your problems are anymore. I’m tired of being understanding. I told you I would be patient as long as you kept in touch, told me what was going on in your life and that you had some commitment to me. You obviously didn’t mean it. I don’t care what your problems and commitments are anymore. I don’t care! I’ve had enough of being put off and ignored. You know, unlike you, I’m not good-looking and sexy so all that I’ve got to give is my writing. That’s all that I’ve got. It’s important to me. Probably the most important thing in my life. And when you don’t read the stuff that I’ve written for you, the material that I’ve taken the time to write for you so that you can be funny and charming and hopefully advance our careers to where we want to be, when you don’t even take the time to acknowledge that you got it, IT HURTS ME! DEEPLY! And my feelings are just as important as your’s. You’ll probably say something like, “Well, I was working and out of town and busy and my great uncle was in the hospital and I don’t need this right now!” Well, fuck you! I don’t care anymore about your problems. In two months, I’m going to be 40, older than John Lennon ever got, and I’ve wasted my 30’s waiting for you, time that I’m never going to get back. In the past year, I’ve thought about finding a new partner, but something inside of me was still attached to you and I felt like I would be betraying our partnership if I worked with someone else. Of course, I could’ve just emailed you to tell you that I wanted to work with someone else while you were busy and then we could work together again when you were ready, but since I never receive any reply from you, there would be no point, would there? I could call you, but I might get an earful of attitude like the last time. I’m tired of you treating me like an appendage in your life, like some loser that you just can’t quite seem to shake or a script machine that you feed ideas into and – presto - a script automatically pops out. I’M NOT A LOSER, YOU POCKET-SIZE ****! I’m sick and tired of your games and I’ve had enough!

    This is it. If you call me, I’ll hang up. If you write me, I’ll tear it in half. If you email me, I’ll delete unread. If you ever perform any of my material again, I’ll kill you. Don’t contact me again.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Well if you really mean it then send it to her..You don't have to be anyones doormat!!
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'd send it :mad: sounds like she asked for it.
     
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Well maybe an edited version :tongue: . It sounds like a rough relationship all the same.
     
  5. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    Update: I've made the decision: we're through. I sent her one last message to her facebook page that was simple and to the point: "We need to talk sometime." That was last Wednesday. If she had contacted me immediately, there would have been the tiniest shred that we could've found a way to work it out. Now, it's too late.

    I spent the weekend making up some new graphics for a new web page that will just feature me instead of the pair of us. This week I'll put a couple of pages up, change the URL, and delete her contact info from my facebook and email home page. It's sad and I spent two days grieving over what I knew had to be done, but I've come out the other side now and I don't feel as I can go back for any reason. People that I have talked to about this have all said the same thing: "It's about time". Enough is finally enough.

    Goodbye, Lauren... you will not be missed.
     
  6. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    just do your best to let go .. no offence but I don't think she's done anything particularly shocking, it might not be right but people do behave like that .. next time you maybe need to be a bit more careful. Maybe she just didn't want to be friends anymore but was scared to tell you, and sometimes that happens, but you've attached so much meaning to the friendship and sometimes people just don't reciprocate - I know because I decided to end a friendship at the start of the year, and I got quite a few emails and didn't return them but I think the person in question has realised now.
    It's probably right for you to end the friendship, now do your best with that website and hopefully that plus ranting here will help.
     
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :wootrock: Good on ya me old mucker :laugh:
     
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You've got to do what's best for you.

    Has this person always been this way towards you?
     
  9. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    Always?

    Tough to say. Things were good at first but then. little by little, it started happening and there was always a good excuse. She was sick, someone in her family was sick, she had paying work, she had to go out of town, etc. Years ago, I told her that I would understand if life got in the way of our work IF she kept me informed and didn't just disappear. She said she understood, but I guess it just didn't take.

    Once I'm done with the website, I'll let you all know. I'm planning lots of jokes and things. She's still going to be in some of the photos and videos because I worked on those projects and have a right to use them as part of my self-promotion (she has an equal right to use them, of course) and she'll be credited.

    Thanks for listening, all.
     
  10. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Did she only ever try to avoid you? or is it the same for other people she knows/knew.
     
  11. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    I think she did do it to other people, but I didn't really hang with any of her other friends so I never had the chance to ask them.
     
  12. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    Final update to this thread: It's over now. After waiting a week, she finally called last Thrusday afternoon and I told her I didn't want to work with her anymore. She told me that she was always busy and that she had been in the hospital recently, but I didn't want to hear it. Those have been her excuses for nine years and, although I'm sure she's telling the truth, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. She also didn't remember being rude to me on the phone. I assured her that she was. She finally said, "I guess there's nothing left to say." I said, "No, there isn't. Goodbye." and hung up.

    I went out for the rest of the day, feeling both angry and like a mean bastard for not giving her one more chance, but I just couldn't. I'd had enough and it is the best for both of us.

    Spending the day working on a story, reworking my webpage and listening to Zappa. Thanks for supporting me, everybody.
     
  13. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Well, you can move on now. If she value's you, she will attempt to patch things up with you but now you can just get on with your life and enjoy yourself.

    All the best.