Sick and tired of these moods!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Sorry for the rant but I'm sick and tired of my rapidly changing moods. Never suffered with this before until recently after recovering from a mixed episode. I don't know if it's the meds masking what's going on underneath or if I'm just really unsettled from the last episode. I'm going from being hypomanic, bursting with energy and overly positive and over involved to tearful, suicidal and full of rage a day or so later. I have switched to suicidal and tearful the past couple of days. It's so tiresome and I feel really unsettled. I also have paranoia on top of this which is frightening at times. I feel like if I don't nip this in the bud soon then I'm going to get very ill again and I don't want that. Im flipping fed up with this illness. I don't want to live anymore and slowly heading towards the point of no return.
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi, rant away and dont be sorry for it.

    I have found mood management the most challenging thing I have ever done. Some beliefs and principles I have held for almost a lifetime are suddenly under pressure. I have to be constantly reminded its management, not cure, when cure is what I yearn for. Identifying triggers has been especially had for me because I have never thoght in those terms before. I never needed to.

    Since starting the course I must have experienced just about every mood and emotion known to man. I dont understand why or where they come from, but I am learning, albeit slowly, to manage the sudden swings. Distraction is my best friend right now. I still have much to learn and a long way to go, but if I can try and make it work, anyone can.

    Right now, you have to concentrate on whatever it is that keeps you safe and make that your sole focus until you can start to find solutions to these sudden mood changes. I know nothing about you or your life, so cant offer much by way of advice. But what I am doing with mood is helping me more than anything right now and trust me, I am doing a lot as I know so little about mental health issues.

    Take care and above all, stay safe.
  3. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    Butterfly-I agree with S-kid, there is nothing to apologize for (you're safe to rant here). I always think of the severe mood changes as being like hurricanes that blow into only my life, while everyone else goes on as usual. No one else understands what I'm going through-I've given up on trying to explain the void of pain and panic to people. They don't get it and they never will. I can't remember a time in my life when the hurricanes didn't come-I've learned over the years how to hold myself together just long enough for them to blow through. One bit of advice to take or leave-it helped a lot when I made peace with the fact that the hurricanes would always blow in and out of my life and I would never be "normal". Making peace with my situation took away the fear and dread that I always felt that I would go nuts again, everyone would hate me and everything would be bad. I found that when I stopped dreading and fearing the hurricanes and just let them blow through the whole situation was a lot less frightful and unpleasant. Good luck Butterfly :)
    AlexiMarie7 likes this.