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Sick of being alive

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Soon, Mar 1, 2013.

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  1. Soon

    Soon Member

    I am in a constant state of self-hate from the moment I crawl out of bed in the morning til I crawl back in. I hate being this weak, pathetic monkey, going through the motions day in and day out like I actually care about my life or have something to contribute. I disgust myself, and I’m disgusted by most people with whom I interact. The world is a shit hole. Nothing can change it. It’s governed by human nature and human nature never found an ideal so great it couldn’t shit on.

    Every day I think about how it’s finally going to end for me. I can’t afford therapy. I can’t talk about it with friends, family or my significant other as they all have their own problems to manage. I am at my wits end, with no recourse but to find a way to end myself. Then, whether I can feel the release or not, at least I won’t be feeling what I have nearly every day of my life.
  2. f5j23jk2

    f5j23jk2 Well-Known Member

    I'm like you, i wish i could turn my life off like a switch.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can talk here hun people here can relate don't judge releasing some of the darkness here helps hun
  4. Soon

    Soon Member

    Wish I knew what else to say.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just hang on ok i know the world looks pretty dark at times i get that but there are times when some light manages to get through hun please just hang out here get to know us some
    It help to know you are not alone fighting the battle hun
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    There are public health systems that you can turn to for assistance, as well as support groups such as this one online, or in-person support groups through organizations such as NAMI. Have you contacted your state's health department (if you're in the U.S.)?
  7. Soon

    Soon Member

    Getting to a NAMI group is not a possibility any time soon. IL health dept. just gives me the run around.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Soon, have you tried your local crisis team? They can help, they would be situated in your local emergency department. Reach out.
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