sick of everything

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by feathers, Aug 27, 2010.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I'm just so sick of feeling this way. Every night I just want to kill myself and I feel urges to just swallow fuckloads of tablets or cut my wrists open and there's NO REASON WHY I SHOULD FEEL IT. It's just depression for depressions sake, everything in my life is FINE! There's nothing to be depressed about, I should be fucking HAPPY and I'm not and I just have this horrible depression pushing down on me every fucking day, urges to end my life, phases where I just feel nothing and no one can get through to me or it is very difficult to.

    sick of having my arms ripped open and upsetting those around me, those who actually give a shit which is not many
     
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Depression is a bitch, I agree. You said that not many care for you but some do. Live for them if you can't live for yourself right now. I bet if you looked hard enough you would see there are a whole mess of people that would be incredibly hurt if you were to take your life. Stay and talk to us. Whats going through your head right now.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    depression not treated is a bugger it is it sucks the life right out of you. Talk to doctor okay change your meds up get on something that works okay hundreds of meds out there find one that works for you okay keep trying
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I've always wondered how people with seemingly normal lives could become depressed, just like that. Then I realized that depression can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. It's such an awful disease, because to everyone around you, you seem perfectly fine. Try not to harm yourself or take those pills kazine. I hope you can find the strength to keep fighting. :hug:
     
  5. katarina

    katarina New Member

    Okay, well i'm not going to tell you to talk to a doctor, medication could make you feel worse,maybe more distant. and yes depression is a bitch. it hurts all the time. but what you need to do is find something to make you happy. whether it be a hobby, or a person. suicide is no joke, and depression may be an illness. but you need to get your mind off it, you need to find something to make your life worth living. possibly go to a group where you can meet people going through the same thing you are. thats what i did 5 years ago, now my life is turned around. and i'm glad i never caved in, you should try the same.
     
  6. immadeofrainbow

    immadeofrainbow Well-Known Member

    Maybe your life is perfectly fine, but even so, if your not happy with it there's clearly something wrong, take up a project or something to take p your time to keep you rmind off it, find a friend you can confide in, deppression for deppression's sake is an ugly fucker when it rears its head round. Just find something that makes you truly happy, and stick to it
     
  7. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    It's always very easy just to say "my life is fine, what the hell is wrong with me", and it may be the case that you are suffering from a chemically-induced depression, and your life really is fine. But are you sure that your life isn't bad? Or is it not bad enough in your mind to warrant these emotions? There's a big difference between the two. I feel like my life is terrible, I've lived through some terrible things. But compare that to someone who was a POW for five years? Suddenly my life doesn't looks so bad, right? This is flawed thinking though, what is difficult and life-threatening to me may not be to another person. The same way that some people are deathly afraid of spiders while others adore them. It's the same principle, but on a deeper level. What is it that makes you feel so desperate? What are your triggers? You don't need to tell me or anything, but just think about what happens in the few days or hours before the impulses hit. Your pain is unique to you, and different things affect you at different levels than they would me, I would just be wary of writing your pain off as illogical and not giving it the attention it deserves.

    If you can, try to get in contact with a therapist. At the very least they can help you get a hold on your emotions and calm them down, or keep them from getting so bad. It's better than doing nothing and potentially dying, don't you think? Do you have any support systems you can rely on at all? If you're feeling suicidal, there's a reason behind it. You're not crazy, you're not making it all up. If you're feeling it bad enough to talk about it to a bunch of strangers on a forum for advice, then I'd say it's pretty damn serious, and I hope you can find relief. I really do.

    --ThinkingCap
     
  8. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Thinkingcap, my life really is fine. I've got a loving boyfriend, good friends, doing well in college, pretty independant. I was happy with it, with everything, then one day, without anything changes, the depression comes out of nowhere. There's nothing in my life making me depressed. So I think you might be right about the chemical thing

    Thanks for your replies
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey kazine,
    You should see a therapist.. They can teach you coping skills, and to recognise the cognitive distortions in your thinking..Give it a try.. Don't worry if you don't like your therapist just find another one.. You will eventually find one you can talk to.. It took me three before I found Gina..
     
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