and wish I could just end it all, but I can't do that, so I'm forced to go thru every miserable day. I'm sick of feeling crappy all the time, physically and emotionally. I'm sober now for the last 30 days and am waiting to feel better but just feel worse. If I didn't care about quitting drinking I'd get really drunk right now just to be numb, to NOT feel anything, but I promised I wouldn't drink so I'm stuck with these awful feelings. I wish I could disappear forever. no one would miss me.