Sick of it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shazzer, Mar 6, 2008.

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  1. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I am so sick and tired of this life I'd had enough of everything. My depression is getting worse and I'm drinking every day and can't stop. All I think about every day is committing suicide I know it will happen soon as nothing is important anymore
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please hang on Shazzer. I know it is difficult, but you can make it. :hug:
  3. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

  4. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Just make sure you're seeing the reality of things. Alcohol can't let you.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    shazzer, don't give up now ... you've made it this far.
    i'll be here to listen any time you want to talk,
  6. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    The first thing you need to give up is drinking. Then, you can work rationally on fighting your depression. I wish you the best of luck.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    How is your mom doing Sharon?
  8. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Shazzer, everything will seem so much worse through the haze of booze.
    Maybe you could focus on getting free of that, and then rethinking things?
  9. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to say thanks for all your support it really means a lot especially when you are going through tough times yourselves.
    I've come to realise how little people care (not people on here) and that I wouldn't be missed if I wasn't around. They don't care about me so why would they be bothered if I was dead. I'm feeling so suicidal and I can't see anyway forward except to kill myself. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on without doing something. People would b glad to see the back of me
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    People do care about you sharon, even if they don't always show it. Try your best to hang on hun. I'll keep you in my prayers and pray that you stay safe. I know that things are really difficult with you right now and it may seem that things won't get better, but keep on fighting, don't give up. And remember that you are loved and your life does matter. :hug:
  11. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    hi shaz, im in the same place and im drinking myself stupid. I have no advice but if you need company im here :wink:
  12. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I don't know who you are but thanks for your comment to just kill myself that was very helpful I don't think. As if I wasn't feeling suicidal enough you've just managd to make me feel 100% worse so I hope your pleased with yourself. You know nothing about me but think you've got the right to say that.
    If that the kind of support thats offered on here then I'm done with this place thanks a lot
  13. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Thanks Dave and forlorn for your support I wish you both well but after receiving the message from the above person I'm done with this site. I thought this was a supportive place but to be told by someone to just kill myself as made me feel a hell of a lot worse than I did before I wrote my message. If this is what the place is about then I don't want to know. Forlorn I hope you can cut down on your drinking I know I keep tying but can't seem to do it.
    Thanks both of you and take care
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sharon, please don't leave SF. The jerk who posted that horrible message was probably banned by the moderators. He was probably just someone who came here to cause trouble, but doesn't understand that words like that can cause so much pain. I hope that you can find the strength to carry on. :hug:
  15. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    :depressed:depressed:depressed:depressed:depressed:depressedI just want to scream I have so much of this life nothing ever goes right. I am so sick of been depressed all the time every night I go to bed and don't want to wake up then I'm more pissed off the next day when I do wake up as I want to dead is that too much to ask for. This depression will kill me I know it will.
  16. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    THe depression is too much don't care about myself anymore whether I live or die
  17. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I wish I could take care of someone who's depressed. I have so much empathy about that particular it's not funny. My drinking has become erratic rather than every day like it was when I was living with my wife. Now it's like one day on, one day off, two days on a horrifice binge, 3 days off

    and when I don't drink at night I have the most disturbing images in my head and can't sleep. I wake up every 5 minutes. Cold sweats, vommitting from an aggravated esophagus. Mostly I keep having nightmares about my wife and daughter. That my daughter's sleeping on the bed and my wife and I are arguing and she's saying it was a mistake coming back. And I wake up and realize I'm going from one nightmare into another.

    Even if I have a good dream and they're back home with me - waking up to this reality is still entering a nightmare.

    I feel like I spend more time in a nightmare than I do anything else now. I feel like just doing the simplest of things now require monumental energy, like there the gravy here on earth has gone to match jupiters. Tomorrow I have to go to work and do some tedious reimbursement accounting forms shit and other stuff as well as get there by 8:30 and I'm not able to get to sleep. It's 1 am where I am now, I spent the last hour laying in bed crying, talking to the ceiling asking that somehow my wife know I still love her and that I miss her.

    And I got up at 6:30 am this morning for work too so it's not like I'm not getting my full days awake. I don't drink caffeine either so I think it's just good old fashioned insomnia which I've always had even before the drinking.

    My mind right now is a torturous waste land and I ache inside. I know what you're going through Shazzer. I hope you have someone to help you do the small things you don't/can't feel like doing in the meantime while you try to survive through this. :( God Bless you.
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