Sick of it all.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mandy89, May 10, 2010.

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  1. Mandy89

    Mandy89 Member

    After losing both my father and my sister to suicide, I want nothing more than to be with them.

    I don't actually fear dying now, the only thing keeping me here is that I've seen the devastation it leaves behind. But I don't know how long that will last.

    I'm sick of life, it's just endless and there seems no point to it at all. School, college, university, career etc etc etc... I just really can't be bothered.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am so sorry for all the pain you have the suffering from your losses. I hope you are getting therapy for you grief for you suicidal thoughts. Your right the devastation suicide leaves behind i know i still feel it. Ihope you get help as i have I still have the thougths just wanting to go away but i can't hurt others that way i hope i can stay strong and i hope you can too get some help okay to stay strong
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss Mandy.....your pain must be immense.....but don't hurt yourself...get help and try to stay alive....I know the pain of being a suicide survivor too so pm me anytime.....:hug:
  4. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    Hi Mandy, I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you get some comfort from people on this forum like I have.........keep talking, keep posting, everyone is very caring here, shaz
  5. kdslaz

    kdslaz Member

    wow that's... heavy? more shocking then my stepmother kicking me out with a .38 pointed at my head. i was homeless for two weeks. she actually did me a favor cuz living with her i was suicidal & once free i felt liberated & went on to experience many wonderful things. at times my life was great & had i been slightly more selfish it would be still... anyway your profile says your 20? i know it hasn't all been roses for you but id love to have the opportunity you do to go anywhere & make whatever out of your life you want... hang in there please
  6. Mandy89

    Mandy89 Member

    Thanks for the kind messages everyone. I'm new to this forum but I really feel like I need to vent, so thankyou.

    How do you get over these feelings? How do you stop grieving? I just want to be back to normal again. Makes me think... why me? I'm a good person damnit. And I'm sure all you that have suffered feel the same way.

    What's the point in being here if you're just gonna get screwed over?
  7. UniqueMonster

    UniqueMonster Member

    I know how you feel Mandy.
    When i was struggling with suicidal thoughts I wondered why I had to live.
    What was there to live for. Truth is i still don't know why i am supposed to be alive. But for some reason I am, after all the countless times i have been near death.

    All i can say is don't give up hope yet Mandy. There is a reason you are alive, and you just have to find that reason and hold onto it. Hold onto the ones you love, and if you have to, just live for them. Even if you don't want to be alive, Live for the ones you love and who love you.

    Someday everything will get better =]

    PS; you look a lot like my best friend Mandy ^^
  8. Mandy89

    Mandy89 Member

    Before my sister killed herself and I was dealing with my father's suicide and other past events that have effected my life greatly, a person I confided in said my life would get better. That things would turn around.

    They were wrong. I can't believe that things will get better when so far they have only ever gotten worse.

    I had such a happy childhood aswell. Everything just changed :(
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