sick of it all

just want to scream today. ive had enough of living my life of a precipus... never knowing, always trying to hold onto everything with every ounce of energy i have inside of me.
sick of loosing everything i give a fuck about, sick of always feeling like everything i care about is just an inch away of disappearing.
Not that i have that much i care about anymore. it isnt safe to invest emotion in anything anymore.
id rather be a hollowed out shell than this messed up tense emotional wreck.
i cant even come here anymore, i know ill get it in the neck for making this post.
i need a way out

 

why will you get it in the neck? i feel much the same, you just gotta keep going, i know its hard, but you cant give up.

 

Why do you feel you cannot come here any more?

Its an awful feeling that everything is sleeping through your fingers, why do you feel like that do you think?

 

thanks for taking the time to reply x
everything i do here is monitored. ive lost everything before and now it feels the same. like im fighting for survival but i have no idea why.
im loosing the plot,, my reasons for fighting are fading away,, i seek solace away from home as its the only time my mind can breath.
the one person i care about doesnt even see my screams and thinks im not worth the hassle and everything just seems clouded today, like i cant see straight.
i cant find my reasons for,,,,,,

 

i want out.

 

Monitored by whom?

The person you care about - partner? Can you talk to them?

 

narh, that makes things worse. i just went out to clear my head a bit. see my mum, its much better than what i was thinking about doing anyway. thanks so much for the replies though, they do help you know, especially in the moment

 

Yes that sounds much better, a change of scenery and a chat. This place is good for support, people are lovely.