sick of it all

[poisonedresistance]

just want to scream today. ive had enough of living my life of a precipus... never knowing, always trying to hold onto everything with every ounce of energy i have inside of me.
sick of loosing everything i give a fuck about, sick of always feeling like everything i care about is just an inch away of disappearing.
Not that i have that much i care about anymore. it isnt safe to invest emotion in anything anymore.
id rather be a hollowed out shell than this messed up tense emotional wreck.
i cant even come here anymore, i know ill get it in the neck for making this post.
i need a way out

 

[rrjjwwrrjjww]

why will you get it in the neck? i feel much the same, you just gotta keep going, i know its hard, but you cant give up.

 

[windlepoons]

Why do you feel you cannot come here any more?

Its an awful feeling that everything is sleeping through your fingers, why do you feel like that do you think?

 

[poisonedresistance]

thanks for taking the time to reply x
everything i do here is monitored. ive lost everything before and now it feels the same. like im fighting for survival but i have no idea why.
im loosing the plot,, my reasons for fighting are fading away,, i seek solace away from home as its the only time my mind can breath.
the one person i care about doesnt even see my screams and thinks im not worth the hassle and everything just seems clouded today, like i cant see straight.
i cant find my reasons for,,,,,,

 

[poisonedresistance]

i want out.

 

[windlepoons]

Monitored by whom?

The person you care about - partner? Can you talk to them?

 

[poisonedresistance]

narh, that makes things worse. i just went out to clear my head a bit. see my mum, its much better than what i was thinking about doing anyway. thanks so much for the replies though, they do help you know, especially in the moment

 

[windlepoons]

Yes that sounds much better, a change of scenery and a chat. This place is good for support, people are lovely.