Sick of it

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pisces-music-girl, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my mood swinging many times within one day- one minute I'm sad, then the next I'm elated and laughing, then I'm furious... it never ends and I'm sick.

    I look at my friends I saw tonight and I know now they'd never care if I died. I don't even have to kill myself, I just have to die and they'd never care. I'd pass from their memory just like a car on the highway... never to return or be thought of again.

    I sicken myself. I want to talk to him, he who once fell for me, but who I fell for much too late. Now he has someone else! I can't remember that fact. GET A GRIP. HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!! But I love him now, and oh, how it hurts.

    I can't rely on him to fix my every need. He knows I'm not okay, but I can't rely on him to help me through my every mood swing. I CAN'T RELY ON HIM, HE HAS OTHER PEOPLE TO CARE ABOUT.

    I'm sick of everything and the pain has barely started.

    I'm sick of it, sick of it, sick of it.
     
  2. thebiggestlie

    thebiggestlie Member

    I could have written that...
    *hugs*
    Do you really have feelings for the guy, though, or are you just developing them because he's unavailable?...I find myself doing that sometimes...
    <sigh>
    Anyway, you're not alone. x
     
  3. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I started to fall for him a few days before I found out he had a girlfriend. The words pretty much smacked me in the face, and I haven't been in a normal mood for more than a few hours since.

    I cut last night, telling myself to GET A GRIP. I needed to talk to him, needed it so bad, but I didn't because it's selfish, selfish, SELFISH to have him talking to me instead of his girlfriend.

    I want him to save me, but I'm afraid to ask him to. I want to save him too, but now that he belongs to someone else, it's not my place.

    Oh, I'm sick of it.