Sick of it!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jhayes0027, May 4, 2008.

  1. jhayes0027

    jhayes0027 Well-Known Member

    So I'm sick of it, I try to confide in my friends, my doctors, my family and all I ever get is crap. My friends always say "what do you ahve to be drepressed over?" you have no girlfriend and no woman problems! Do they not understand what it's like be be alone or have no gf at all to argue or fight with and at least go back too if needed? I"m sick of it, fuck my friends, fuck my family, fuck it all. Sorry if I'm rambling, sorryi if i''ve made any grammar errors, I'm drunk, and this is the let it outs forum. I;m alone riht now, just like i always am, sick of people telling me I have to have woman problem to be depressed. Apparently never having a gf at all isn't considered problems with relationship issues around my area.

    I hate this hell, this place, these people, and this world. Let's all die in peace.

    No, i'm not committing suicide or doing anythign, just ranting in the let it all out forum since I'm not usually talkative while sober. It's hard for me to be social, online or offline, so drunk I don't really even care. Sorry if I don't sound reasonable, I don't expect replies, I'm just sick of the fact that most of the people I woudl consider friends live so far away and in completely different timezones. The people I can actually see on a daily basis that would call me a friend are nothing to me anymore, they put their own problems up and are selfish, believing that a person without a relationship can't be depressed. Well let's see, I'm out of all my friends the only one with ajob and bills to pay, I'm 22, they are all older than me minus one of them who is still old enough to work and pay their way. And yet because I work and pay bills I shoudl be hapy.

    Well fuck them and fuck it all, I hate my friends, I hate them with a passion. I'
    m weak but I'm not gonna be weak forever, when the time comes I hope they all die and see how strong I can be in time of need. At the same time I want everyone to be happy as well as me, I just want people to talk too who understand. I'd quit drinkilng and all for any reason necessary, if I cared about myself I'd quit for that but I just don't. It's hard to care for myself when I"m useless, ugly, irresponsible, and just stupid. I'm as smart as I want to be, but anymroe I play dumb just to make other's look good, it makes me hapy to see people happy, but makes me depressed to not be happy at all, if that makes any sense.

    I don't wanna see others sad, but I"m sick of being left behind and depressed just to give something up for others to have.

    Sorry I'm drunk, drunk as i've been in a while and not around my friends. If i todl them this they'd just criticise me, so fuck them. I'm glad I didn't go out with them this weekend and from now on I think i'll do what I do without them, it feels good not to be put down all the time, yet at the same time I feel so lonely.

    Anyway, anyone else feel this way? just not drunk atm lol.
     
  2. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i feel this way diffinatly
    im not going to give my age,
    because im a minor


    my friends all say i have a perfectly
    good life, that i have a boyfriend and
    shouldnt be depressed

    sometimes theres more to just being
    lonely or not. being depressed isnt
    something that is nessicarily caused
    by not having/having something. its
    a mental illness that will never go away.


    your so called "friends" need to accept
    that youre depressed, and they shouldnt
    say that you only can be with a girlfriend.


    i bet most of the people in here actually have
    a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/fiance.

    you shouldnt listen to what your friends tell you,
    listen to the poeple who can relate



    if you wanna talk, im just a PM away :)
     
  3. jhayes0027

    jhayes0027 Well-Known Member

    Thank you, and like I said I have been drinking, but I've never drank enough to not know what I'm speaking about. I'm just really about ready to lose all of my friends. They aren't really friends at all anymore, I'm only asked over when I've got money to buy liquor or something. It's just weird cus they're the only friends I've ever known. I know there have got to be better people in this town but I've yet to meet anyone at all, male or female just to be friends with that aren't drama ridden, alcoholics, or drug addicts.

    I always think about leaving, just scared of where the road might take me. I understand what you mean though, I think depressions can come with anyone regardless of the situation or the cirumstance, I'm just sick of hearing about how I have to have certain problems to be depressed. My friends claim to be so depressed yet they've never seen a hospital or a jail like I have, they've never done anything I have actually, they just threaten with it to get sympathy. Took me a while to realize that but I finally have, I don't do anything I do to get people too look at me or be with me, I do it because I don't know how else to do anything. May sound ignorant but I have no common sense, I'm smarter than any friend I have, (wouldn't tell them that) but I am. For some reason I just choose not to do what I need to do and am scared to try it.