Hi. I found this site by accident but I'm hoping now that I'm here, I can find some kind of help. I'm currently living two separate lives and I can't do it any more. The first life is the one that most people see where I'm cracking jokes, I'm quite out-spoken and the kind of person that will do anything to help anyone. However this is nothing but a front for who I am really am. I'm deeply depressed, I honestly can't remember the last time I felt remotely happy with my life and am now at the stage where I think about ending my life on a daily basis. What makes it worse is that I'm having to put so much effort into keeping up the "public" me that I now find myself more unhappy with my life because I know how much of a lie I'm living. Add all this to the fact that I have very few, if any, true friends and next to no prospects when it comes to my work / love life and I truly don't see any way out of this hole that I'm in - other than ending it all. I know I need help but I don't know where to start. After living this fake life, I'm honestly scared of saying to my family/friends for fear of how they'll react to me lying to them all this time. It's now reached the stage where no matter what I do, I'm going to end up hurting someone - either by admitting I've been living a lie or by actually ending my life. I really do not know what to do. If there is anyone that can offer advice, please feel free to do so. Thanks for taking the time to read this.