sick of living

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dying_inside, Apr 24, 2011.

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  1. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    today is easster to happy easter. i hope yours is going better than m.ine

    im really low today. i drunk and overdosed pills but nothing happened.

    im just so sick of living every minute, every second.

    i know theres not much you or anyone else that can do anything about it but i felt like screaming it out loud

    im desperte by this sickness of living
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Could you describe the life you long for?
  3. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i'd want peace of mind, protection from the hurts, freedom from this sickness.

    maybe a boyfriend to share life with, something i've never had.

    but most of all stop thinking, stop worring, stop feeling, stop waiting.

    dying, disappearing without hurting my family.

    im so sick of the things i HATE to do and im so sick of having nothing to do, not a purpose, not a passion, not a realistic wish. nothing to live for.



    i want to end it all now

    --thanks for listening
  4. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i cant do it anymore

    i cant do it anymore

    i cant do it anymore
  5. Pécheur

    Pécheur Account Closed

    If you've taken something you should really see a doctor as pills actually take a few days to take full affect and organs start to shut down.
    I'm worried about you and I hope you see the light in your situation.
    Think of your family, they would be left behind, I know you're hurting but instead of getting help you'll be transferring your pain onto them.
    Why not stick around for some support dying_inside? My thoughts are with you.

  6. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    I hear every word of tht I knw the feeling. Wat makes it worse is everyone seems to be doing family things today meals in or out the comfort of others company etc.

    I wish I had got piss drunk now but I opted for binge eating and throwing up a very lame throw up at tht. I don't know, hang in ther check out the OD situation to be safe and try grounding yourself try focusing even just for a few seconds. Hugs x
  7. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i cant do it

    i cant do it

    all i can think of is suicide

    its unbrearable
  8. Mrs. R

    Mrs. R New Member

    I understand all too well. I have been living with clinical recurring depression in severe from for the last 14 years. Symptoms are akin to bipolar 2 and have been on so many meds. Docs can't seem to fin a combo to keep me indefinitely stable. I have a timeline for myself. One more year of trying different meds and that I'm checking out if it doesn't work. People whom do not live with mental illness have no idea what this is like. I pray for terminal cancer to take me as opposed to lingering and living in this hell.
  9. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i have a green number to call in crisis sistuations. should i call? what should i expect?


  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YES YES you should call the number they can help decrease you pain and sadness they have me through some dark moments in my life Calling will help you calm down decrease those thoughts maybe even get you the help you need to survive and feel better hugs
  11. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    I have my methots as well all done and ready, cant take this no more! Just want to sleep and forever
    I dont know sun is shining all days long but just cant, happiness is gone and what about the future...theres no help either, I really, reaally wanna do it , just end it all I can leave this Nothing, cant help it but no one will
    Easter sucks like always, true colors , no, no , no!!!!
  12. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i called a hotline, but didnt help much. said i'll have to recall on tuesday.

    how do i survive tomorrow?

    how do i survive tonight?
  13. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    nobody can do anything for me, thats the point.

    i used to forget. theres nothing that can be done to help me out of the tunne

    im sorry for wasting your time
  14. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    can you call the samaritans, i think they are 24/7 365, so maybe give you local branch a call and at least talk to them. failing that can you get yourself to hospital?

    i know its unbearable right now for you...but reach out to anyone that can help..fight every demon and you may just win the war. :hug:
  15. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    thank you, i had already tried the samaritans a couple of years ago, but didnt help much...

    for now just the thought of having another tomorrow is too much.

    im so tired and lost and confused and sick of everthing.

    thank you for being there and caring
  16. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    the thing with the samaritans is they dont actually talk you out of anything they just there to listen and let you get things can just verbally vent off at them which is sometimes easier than say writing here...and sometimes just letting it all out physically can ease the pain enough to get you over this difficult time.

    another trick i used to use is going for a run, burn the stress off...let the endorphins flood you a bit. just a thought.

    the only other thing you can do is get yourself to the emergency room and tell them what has happened. you have to do something someone...but get help asap :hug:
  17. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Thank you Icequeen for your support. maybe i'll email the samaritans.

    english is my second language and i dont fee too much at ease talking in english, writing is better.

    the point here is that im DYING INSIDE.

    im's like a boat slowly sinking in, anchored to the to the bottom which gives stability but it also ultimately makes it go do down it self with everything thats left inside.

    im dying and nobody can save me
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Your english is perfect :) I think you should give the samaritans a chance.
    I have used them myself and they're very helpful and understanding.
    Good luck :hug:
  19. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    i've emailed the samaritans, even thought i doubt thet can help. but at least i've tried something almost-new (i have done it in the past òeasready about 6 years ago and it helped a bit back then)

    thanks for your encouragements.

  20. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    my mental health worker says i am treading water, and every so often i sink..and i can only assume from your description that this is what is happening to you. however we describe it, all here have been thru the same kind of crap...which is why we ended up here...everyone has a choice...but you have to exhaust every single option numerous times before you even think of giving in. what may not work the first time...may work like a dream the 3rd time. btw your english comes across brilliant, much better than some i know where english is first language!

    keep on fighting hun...i was in a dark dark place last week i think it was..and i am still here when i didnt think i would be...let everyone here support you as best we are not alone and not at fault. be kind to yourself :hug:
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