Sick of this life, wish to for my soul to be free somewhere else. I cannot bear this misery!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Shy rose, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. Shy rose

    Shy rose New Member

    I am so sick of everything. I am too anxious, miserable, and empty to go on. I feel like I am the living the dead, a puppet that keeps moving because it has to. I used to be a happy and carefree, until I entered this sick society and was outcasted. All years of school were hell for me, no one liked me, i got bullied, put down,even in the streets of the public! It happened to me so much i developed clinical depression and severe anxiety/agoraphobia. I hate everything about myself, my personality, how i look, the people that brought me down. Had they not brought me down and i was born a different person, would i be this way? Probably not!!

    To save myself from further inner destruction, I basically abandoned society (Dropped out of college, ruined job opportunities because i am way to damn anxious to do anything) and stay in my room, my only source of comfort yet ironically a prison of my mind. Of course this upsets my mother and everyday she warns me of living on welfare and that I am a failure. I don't blame her. I also worry what will become of me. If only i was mentally strong, not care what others think and be my own person, is what i wish. But no, people look at me like i am an alien and treat me like one, and it hurts like hell. I didn't choose how i look and yet i have to take crap from people because of it? id rather just die or live alone in a forest somewhere. Therapy nor meds never helped me. School, jobs, pressure, heartless shallow humans, i don't want to keep going anymore, i hope to for my soul to find peace, reincarnation, being a spirit in another time, whatever it takes just to save my fate from this miserable existence that i cannot bear anymore. It hurts!!!!!.....
     
  2. Tear

    Tear Active Member

    Dear Shy Rose,

    I read your post and it's like I wrote it myself. We have so many things in common and I can imagine how bad you may feel. I understand you so well and if you ever want to talk to me, just send me a message and we can talk more, cause I don't like writing so personal stuff about me in public.

    Take care!