sick of this shit

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FarBeyondGone, Apr 30, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. FarBeyondGone

    FarBeyondGone Active Member

    everybody always says get help, call somebody, youll be okay, its temporary. who the fuck can i call thats going to change anything, just tell me im going to be ok and feed me more pills. They think they have the answers they dont know shit. when you get to this point theres no way out of this just buy more time to feel like shit it never ends this is what it feels like to lose your fucking mind, id rather be dead than walk around all fucked up like this, maintain some dignity than walk around like a brain-dead vegetable paranoid of everything feeling nothing. its all just bullshit if they have the answers then why the fuck do i feel this way? this hell im in never ends everyday is just 24 more hours of this shit no escape, no release, no light at the end of the tunnel. For whom should i go on suffering, so they can give themselves a pat on the fucking back at the end of the day because im still breathing. i hate their smug attitude, i wish i could have them feel this for just 5 minutes then they would finally understand at the end of the 5 minutes they would come back to normal and say "wow, you really are fucked" id be like " yeah no shit now you see don't you. just be grateful youre not in my shoes, but wait thats not possible anyway because theyre too good to have something like this happen to them.
  2. Agrigor

    Agrigor Active Member

    If you are going to do the deed, at least have the decency for yourself to ensure it wont fail and you will end up in the hospital with damaged organs. DON'T try to overdose on anything.
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Agrigor, that doesn't seem too helpful a reply. I hope he has the decency not to try to harm himself at all. I am very familiar with the feeling of complete hopelessness, but I still try to carry on and make things/myself better. I hope they can too.
  4. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I probably don't know shit, either, but I think I feel what you're saying. People who say the pain of life is temporary are deluding themselves. The Buddha's first Noble Truth was "Life is suffering," but after some 2500 years, a lot of people still don't get it.

    No one really has the answers. There are ways to assuage the suffering, but no one can truly get rid of it. The people you speak of probably mean well (more or less), but perhaps they need to believe in the meds and words more than you need to.

    Somewhat off-topic: I notice you seem to have a lot of anger and frustration (a "duh" statement, but a necessary one). I have a lot of rage myself, though I'm usually considered a laid-back person. The strange thing is, my anger surprises even me. One minute, I'll be fine, the next, I'm trying to control myself and to not hurt anyone. The anger washes over me like a flash flood. Worst of all, once I get angry, it takes a very long time for me to calm down.

    What usually sets me off is injustice or unfairness. I think it has to do with my childhood, when I was always the ignored, passed-over one, whether at school or at home. And although I was never physically or verbally abused, I could only watch helplessly as my sister endured such abuse.

    I'm not trying to suggest that you've had similar experiences, or even that you have a lot of anger in daily life. However, I believe my depression is linked to my anger. I agree with Freud: "Depression is anger turned inward" (at least in some cases).

    Anyway, sorry to babble on. I hope you're still here and safe. PM me if you ever want to talk. :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.