everybody always says get help, call somebody, youll be okay, its temporary. who the fuck can i call thats going to change anything, just tell me im going to be ok and feed me more pills. They think they have the answers they dont know shit. when you get to this point theres no way out of this just buy more time to feel like shit it never ends this is what it feels like to lose your fucking mind, id rather be dead than walk around all fucked up like this, maintain some dignity than walk around like a brain-dead vegetable paranoid of everything feeling nothing. its all just bullshit if they have the answers then why the fuck do i feel this way? this hell im in never ends everyday is just 24 more hours of this shit no escape, no release, no light at the end of the tunnel. For whom should i go on suffering, so they can give themselves a pat on the fucking back at the end of the day because im still breathing. i hate their smug attitude, i wish i could have them feel this for just 5 minutes then they would finally understand at the end of the 5 minutes they would come back to normal and say "wow, you really are fucked" id be like " yeah no shit now you see don't you. just be grateful youre not in my shoes, but wait thats not possible anyway because theyre too good to have something like this happen to them.