sick of trying

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AtomicsAsylum, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    I dont want to live any longer
    everything is painful and raw

    i try and live with whats going on but i cant am sick of the flashbacks and am stick of fighting to live
    Am safe until the host husband is a sleep then ill do something

    Ink
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sick of the triggers flashbacks pain most the sadness i hate it all I hope coming here just talking to your friends help please try to keep stay strong. People here would miss you with therapy the flashbacks should lessen okay
     
  3. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    we arent getting therapy because the last Therapist
    broke our trust we dont want to get any more therapy

    there got to be another way to stop it and the only way i know
    is death

    Ink
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    please try another therapist..find one you can all trust....there has to be one out there..
    I can't even begin to understand your pain but I do want you to get help....
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Please don't do this. Can you talk to someone ... the host, or one of the other alts?
     
  6. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    I spoke to the hosts husband and told him what i wanted to do
    then ended up going to bed

    islept ok but still feel the same at the moment

    Ink
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you'll keep talking, both on here and to either your host or her husband. Try to keep yourself safe!
     
  8. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    it will take us months before we will get a therapist there is a 2 year waiting list

    am so sick of fighting everything

    ink
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe its worth getting on that waiting list, and then doing your best to find your own therapist. What country are you in
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Agreed. At least if you're on the waiting list, you've started the process.
     
  11. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    We are in the uk and the therapist would be NHS

    can ask the host about it but the last time we talked about therapy she said no to it
    Ink
     
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You could find a therapist away from the NHS, or maybe look into support groups or something? Do you know why your host said no?
     
  13. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    We cant aford to get a therapist our side the NHS

    our host keeps saying no because she got hurt the last time with the therapist that broke our trust
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Its scary when a therapist breaks your trust. I've had it happen to me but you can come back from it. Does your host know what she does want, or would do?

    Not all therapy costs. Some places work for a donation, or a minimal fee, some do it for free. Also, support groups are free and maybe your host might find them more achievable because its very different from therapy. I don't know how old your host is, but have you tried contacting MIND or saneline?
     
  15. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    we will look around for some were
    see how much it is

    Host is 33 years ago and we are in Scotland
    the last therapist didn't believe us about the DID
    Said that we were attention seeking
    thats why Ella wont talk to other therapists
     
  16. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't know if this would work because I'm not sure how things work there. But sometimes you can do research to try and find a therapist who is more qualified to help with specific issues. The therapist you saw sounds like she knew nothing about DID, but instead of trying to help you or direct you to someone that could help, she chose to betray you. But there really are some that might be able to help.
     
  17. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    We are going to call a place that near were we live that might be helpful

    The host isnt happy about doing it but she knows we need help

    Ink
     
  18. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It's worth a try, I'm glad she's willing to take that step to get you some help.
     
  19. AtomicsAsylum

    AtomicsAsylum Account Closed

    I dont want to talk to any one cant anyone understand that ???

    Ella
     
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Yeah, I do understand that. I know you don't want to talk to anyone. But it seems like some of the alts might need to.
     
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