I'm sick of waiting to feel better. Sick of waiting to get better friends. I'm sick of waiting to be older. I'm sick of growing up. Sick of this town. Sick of my family. Sick of myself. I just hate it. I want help but I don't. I can't make up my mind. My childhood was too fucking lonely to have been able to gain coping skills. I'm too afraid to get help but I don't WANT help. I want to feel good on my own, just like everyone else....it's just not fair. I want to do things by me... I use to be such a strong person, not caring what others said about me... Now I cry every night... I just hate it...I just don't want to deal with it anymore. It's bullshit.