sick

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by romance5, Dec 2, 2006.

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  1. romance5

    romance5 Member

    i feel worse than i've ever felt in my life. just breathing makes me feel even worse....i'm more suicidal than i've ever been. i just don't know what i did to deserve being depressed like this. i have a good reason to be depressed...it's just that...i never though i could become so suicidal. i want to die, to kill myself. i just need to talk to someone.....
     
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    So your feeling really unwell both physically and mentally? Thats gotta be really awful. Would you care to share what makes you suicidal? Even after being here for so long, I still haven't fully shared why I feel depressed and suicidal myself. :dry:

    I also feel that I have a good reason to be depressed and to commit suicide. Do you not have anyone offline with which to talk to? Well, I don't anyways.
     
  3. romance5

    romance5 Member

    well, it's hard for me to talk to anyone about my issues becuase i don't really have anyone to talk to that cares or would actaully take me seriously. my life is nothing. i have nothing to look forward to, so why live?
     
  4. romance5

    romance5 Member

    hope you don't mind me asking what is your reason for being suicidal?
     
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Well its a long story but basically, I am inferior to everyone, I lack many basic things that so many other people have or will have. I don't think life is bad, but just that I am not fit for living it. I'm really so inferior and pathetic and everyone will say I'm not but if you could read my mind and see my situation, you'd understand more, too bad I feel ashamed and hesistant to say exactly what makes me pathetic and a loser. :sad:
    Everyone at least around me that I know around my age are happier, smarter, have friends, girlfriends are/will be successful etc and I lag behind them in so many ways. I probably could have been normal and okay, but I dunno what went wrong with my upbringing.
    And I really am afraid of death and don't want to make my parents and little brother sad, I feel so trapped and lost, why me? :sad:


    I can relate to how your feeling totally. When I was little, I was a very happy normal child and would NEVER have thought like you that I would end up feeling so low, depressed, suicidal. You don't deserve to be suicidal, I know that for sure, this world really is so cruel and unfair to some isnt it?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2006
  6. silentsoul

    silentsoul Member

    Romance5,

    Im sorry you're hurting... I hurt too.

    For this reason I cannot offer you or any one else any hope or positive reasons to hang in there, except... that tomorrow may reveal positive reasons and if you give up today then you will never know. I know not of your pain but I do know what it feels like to hurt and to live in a world that I simply do not understand, do not like the company and would far rather leave the room and close the door.

    But tomorrow just may be different...

    for that reason alone, surely we should hang on... just to see xxx
     
  7. romance5

    romance5 Member

    i know what you mean...not that i can read your mind. i feel like no one understands me, but then i realize it's becuase i have never told anyone the kinds of horrible things i went through and then i realize that's becuase no one cares. all the horrible memories of the traumatic things that happened to me just started coming back about a month ago, but i've been so depressed and suicidal for at least two years now. i figure that if i kill myself then i can escape this horrible depressing life i have. i just feel wierd saying the kinds of things that have happend to me
     
  8. romance5

    romance5 Member

    thank you silentsoul
     
  9. silentsoul

    silentsoul Member

    Nkrukato,

    Forgive me for invading this conversation...

    It is my first visit to this site, and I didnt plan to post anything but having read some of the posts I am finding it hard not to respond...

    I believe you that 'you' feel you are inferior but I struggle to believe the same... through my eyes, the world is full of superficial, shallow beings. Anyone who feels pain on our level are neither superficial NOR shallow!

    It is the rest of the world that is inferior Nkrukato, not you.

    You just can't see it xxx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2006
  10. silentsoul

    silentsoul Member

    [QUOTE i figure that if i kill myself then i can escape this horrible depressing life i have.[/QUOTE]

    Romance5,

    Im not so sure, I often wonder if the another world would be any better/different.

    'What Dreams May Come' starring Robin Williams has got to be one of my favourite films.

    It would be a terrible mistake to leave this world only to end up in another the same or worse.

    Better the devil you know... just take one day at a time.

    One day the sun may shine... just for you

    And you wouldnt want to miss that xxx
     
  11. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    romance I'm terribly sorry the way you're feeling and I do care about what's happened to you,obviously it's serious because it hurt's you so much and has caused so much pain.All I can offer is support and possibly advice for you anytime you need it,I'm very sorry you're so down it's such a shocking place to be in and fighting is all you can do and strategies to use.
     
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