Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, May 12, 2014.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sick in the head. This is my last straw before it breaks the camel's back. I'm ready to kill myself over this guy who doesn't even know I exist. I have developed an obsession about him even though he already has a girlfriend. I can't seem to stop daydreaming about him and when he's in my presence, I feel so uncomfortable and nervous as if I like him. I do like some of his qualities but not really him as a person. He is not my type and I really don't want him. It's so illogical and irrational and the way my mind is tricking me to death about him. I'm ready to lose it...all because of HIM. I have to prepare that if I have one more suicide attempt, I'll be kicked out of my HUD apartment and be stuck in a personal care home again. I wish I could really successfully kill myself so I won't have to suffer the consequences, but I'm not sure if I'll survive or not. I have the means and I'm starting to give in to my desperate desire to just check out. I'm sick and tired of fighting this stupid delusion I have and the only way out is to kill myself. There.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No the way out of a delusion is to talk to someone to help you change the thoughts ok talk to your therapist about this obsession and get help to move on from it ok
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Yes, I agree - when we have a fixation over a person it's because we are projecting onto them the idea that we like to see in them the fulfilment of something that we don't have, and that a relationship with this person - we think - will provide it.

    What you can do to help yourself is to stand in front of a mirror and give yourself a talking to! - Not as crazy as it sounds. Say: "mpang - this person, in reality, is totally incapable of providing whatever it is I feel is lacking. If I were to win him over it would not be a satisfying relationship anyway because there would be unwillingness attached to it, and that is not a good basis for any relationship".... etc.....

    Telling yourself what is objectively true about it will help you dispel the feelings that he is able to trigger.

    Taking active steps to avoid any contact with him would also help you.

    And when you realise that you are conquering what can be seen as an emotional addiction, you will be so grateful for the growth that it has afforded you, hun :) All the best, blessings and strength :)
  4. rosi

    rosi Member

    Seems like you have an illness (obsession). You should look for help with a doctor.
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Great advice! :)

  6. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Well, I went to the psych hospital because of this and I just got out. I realized that I have to tell my therapist about it and be totally honest in admitting that I have a very unhealthy obsession and I need help. I have kept it too long inside of me and it was taking a toll on my mental health. Thanks for all of your advices. I am going back to group therapy next week where he also goes and I will face my demons and tell the therapist and psychiatrist about it. Wish me luck!!!
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I certainly do mpang, all the very best to you, Blessings and strength :)
  8. rosi

    rosi Member

    Great that you could find answers about your feelings and you are going trough a solution.
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