He wouldn't stop touching me. I couldn't get away. It wasn't quite rape but it was close. I never want to be touched again. I feel sick. I wish I was dead. What is wrong with me? Being touched shouldn't make me break into tears and throw up. I want to die again. I want to cut. I want to be gone. I want nothingness more than I want anything solid. I can't get clean and my chest aches. I want to go home. I want to be gone. I am so close to something. Something dangerous and I don't know what it is. I feel so afraid.