Sick

[Things]

I'm feeling very sick right now, but I don't know how to make it better. The depression's filling up my head and I can feel it in my body.

It got so bad, I literally struggled to breathe. It choked me. It hurt so much. The urge to die became very, very strong. It scared me, so I ran over to the computer to distract myself. I can't really make sense of my thoughts right now. It's too much and I can't think very well.

I shouldn't be posting. I want to talk to someone, anyone. I feel like I'm whoring for attention. I don't know what I want to do.

I'm confused and sick. This is the first breakdown I had in weeks.

 

[IV2010]

I'm sorry thing that you're feeling so bad....have you tried chat if you want to talk to someone...
or ring a crisis line.....is there anyone you can call to be with you?..
take care..
do you think you were having an anxiety attack maybe...blow in a paper bag next time it hapens and see if it helps..

 

[hollie]

hi, i so can understand the way you're feeling at the moment... i am going through a similar thing myself and an understand how difficult it is to put what your feeling and thinking into words.. and to see it written down on the screen in front of you is so hard... it doesnt feel real. i cant say that everything can get magically better.. i wish it could... but if you think talking to someone who is going through it and knows what its like would help even a little bit.. we could chat if you want

 

[Things]

I've told my mom about it yesterday. Finally made it clear that I was having suicidal feelings (I told her before, but I didn't think it sunk in). I don't think we know how to make it better still, but I hope she has a plan.

At least I won't have to hide this forum from her anymore, or some of my poetry.

I'm doing better than yesterday. There's still some pain in my chest though, that sickly feeling I was having. It hurts, but it's bearable.

Thanks for replying you too. I honestly thought no one cared.

 

[IV2010]

I'm so glad you told your Mum about how you are feeling and she understood,..
I hope she gets a plan happening to help you now...
there are people who care about you...
keep us up to date....:hug::flowers:

 

[lightbeam]

I'm glad that you don't have to hide the site from her anymore. That's a positive step forward.

I hope your mom is formulating a game plan to get you help right now. If you are still on her insurance, maybe you both could find out how man mental health related visits you have?

Just a thought.

Keep us posted!

 

[Things]

My mom had to go through the same feelings (and is still is), so she understands what I'm going through. More than I probably realize.

My mom is planning on getting me to join this social thing for women. I don't know much about it, but I saw a commercial. Maybe it'd help. The main reason I'm so upset lately is because I'm lonely. I literally talk to no one else in real life.

To be honest, I don't expect any doctors to help. They never did before... :/ That could just be the depression talking though.

I don't think there's anything else to say. Thanks for talking and listening, guys. It doesn't hurt very bad today.

 

[IV2010]

:flowers::hug: