I am so sick of this on off depression constantly for the past 5 years of my life. Sick of it! Every time it looks like things are going well for me, my self esteem is through the roof, I'm happy with my life and things are going well, I start to get down, I fucking cry all the time, I want to SH ... Why? Sometimes there's not even a reason! Like now! I've had 3 SH urges in the past week and nothing's wrong! I'm just depressed and I want to cut and I don't know why! It's like my mind doesn't like me being happy for a long period of time, or can't cope with it or something! ARGGGGGGGHH! Just let me be happy for once!!!