i have not cut since last september. and i want to right now. my family and school all drive me FUCKING NUTS!!!!!!!! today some perv thought it would be fun to rub my neck, which was so not funny for me. i've been having trouble sleeping and i don't know what to do. my parents... don't care sometimes and it makes me crazy. i hate being the center of attention, but who doesn't like some attention once in a while? i'm doing good in school and they don't care. it pisses me off. my brother fails every single class he takes and he gets new shoes, new clothes, new anything he wants. and i got all a's and i didn't even get a, "i'm so proud of you." i feel so fucking special. i don't want anything, i would just like them to at least acknowledge the fact that i am working hard in school. i don't know what to do about this asshole in one of my classes who gives me looks like i'm sick or something. at first, it hurt, then i thought who cares, and now it is pissing me off. no one has to post for this, i'm just ranting. it feels good to rant. my head hurts, and i have to do fucking WASL cause our legislature thinks that we have not been going to school for the past eleven years and wants to give me bad case of nerves and insomnia. cause i don't test good. also, people are gay bashing at my school which i don't even think is funny. gay people have a right to be here. just because we aren't gay doesn't mean we have the right to judge them because they are different. god will judge them when they get there and he will judge those racist, gaybashing punks at school too. i hope they get sent to hell with me, cause i sure know how to torture. just kidding. it just makes me mad that people can't accept anything outside the box. and i hate the word ******. it sounds sick. like maggot, only with an f. again, i'm just ranting so please don't bash on me. i hate the kids at school because no one knows how to get mature and act their fucking age. i know we don't all mature at the same rate, but seriously, some of these people are worse than my eight year old sister and her group of friends. i hate how my friends don't even try to understand me, and i hate how my parents think they understand me. i hate that people at my school still think it is funny to make fun of the special ed kids because they have disabilities and because they have mental disabilities and look different. i hate that i'm mexican, white, spanish, italian, irish, dutch, german, and whatever else there is in me. i hate that i'm short and that i feel too fat. i hate that my hair is dark. that my eyes are hazel. is there anything in life i do like? yes, i like the fact that animals can take the place of friends. not judgemental or anything. i like the fact that i'm not mean to people who deserve having shit thrown in their faces. i like the fact that my family loves me. and the rest is too long to list. ugh. that's my rant.
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