sigh...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by auger5433, Jan 12, 2009.

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  1. auger5433

    auger5433 New Member

    ok story time :(...

    when me and my g/f had broken up, err well not broken up basicly her saying that i wasnt good enough for her,,,,,,heres that story: i was dateing this girl lisa for about a year (13 months) then out of no where she just stoped talking to me for like a week, well during that week my friend saw her all over some guy at the movies (i was out of town)... so my friend called me and told me, so i told her to ask her why and all that, so my friend went and talked to her after the movie and recorded this on her phone "Adam? I love adam, but look at john, seriously wouldnt you rather be seen with him then adam?" ive been a mess since then
    (honistly i wouldnt be alive rigth now if it wasnt for natalie she is a really good firend of mine)
    i mena it hurts to have one say they love u and mean the world to u then a few weeks later BAM your not good enough for me


    ok then after all that my confidnce was pretty much shot,
    after a while me and this girl kacie... where gettign really close and stuff (we where talking for about 2 months or so)and the other night b4 a party she was happy cause my house partyand me and her woudl get to hang out her exact words "Adam im happy we finally get to hang out again, you are so amazing i love you"....( i mean we hung out almsot every day for a months so it was going good) well i though
    well abotu 30 mins into when she got there everythgin was fine flirten and tlakign etc... but about an hour or so into it she woudlnt talk to me nothing wont even look at me or tell me hey....when i woudl try and say soemthgin she would walk away.... but after i while i said **** it maybe she just needs to be alone..... well about 2 hours into every one being there soem1 had told me the bathroom was locked and the light where off, i just thought maybe some1 had locked it on accident when leaveing, no big deal so i unlokced it to find her and one of my good firendds in there her shirt is off and his pants are halfway down.....

    yea so obviously agian not good enough... i just need to stop so i never can get hurt agian im so tired of it....

    i mean what self confidence i had, is now gone.. i mena i worked so hard after lisa to get back up to a good level, now its gone.... im hateing every thing right now.....

    im running out of hope, and natalie that helped me last time is still my really good friend but she is haven her own troubls right now and im trygin to help her with those. and i dotn wanan burden her with this.....

    im brealy holding on here

    i told my parents today and i think they are trying to get me back into my counsoler...

    since me and lisa (1st story) broke up i was feeliing empty inside no matter what i did, so i joing a frat, but still even when i was around all them still felt alone and liek i didnt belong... after a week left b4 initiation i quit that cause it wasnt helping.... the only reason i threw a party was to try and feel like i belong like i have a purpos..(i know i cant spell)....i hate the holidays i know the tidm of joy and love, not for me my entire family was here and nothing still didnt want to be here still felt alone... idk what to do.... :(

    im not scared to die....
    but i am scared of living empty inside....
     
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